The Masks we Wear!

As we just completed the Halloween holiday my attention was focusing on the masks we wear! I completed an interview with Tom Campbell recently and masks came up as a theme. I feel that this ‘masks’ theme will also be covered with Christopher Papadopoulos Nov 10^th airing Nov 16^th.

One of my thoughts around this theme is that we wear masks all the time as we try to be – or hope to be – someone other’s will like and appreciate. You know the masks I’m talking about: the ‘family’ masks we wear to try and please others in the family; the ‘relationship’ masks we wear to our significant other so that they won’t ‘leave us’; the ‘work’ masks we wear when we dislike our job/co-worker/boss etc. We find all sorts of different ways to wear a mask believing that our masked self is who people want to see. The problem is if we wear a mask long enough we get stuck in it. We can’t be authentic by dropping the masks to the people we know well and maybe even love because how do we change now after having worn the mask so long? Or we may forget our authentic self completely and just keep wearing the masks!

Another thought I had about masks as we celebrated Halloween is that people can often be more authentic when they dress up and participate in Halloween. We also do this with alcohol and vacations. Why is it we can feel comfortable BEing our authentic selves with some makeup to hide who we are, with some alcohol to give us courage to BE who we are, or with a vacation where we can experiment with pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones into our authentic selves or is it just because we are in a different place where no one knows us so we are able to BE our authentic selves?

Fear is the problem that we try to resolve through masks and it is courage that we require to free us from our masks or fear. Fear definitely is the culprit that helps us create our masks. We are afraid that we aren’t enough as we are and that we must be nicer, friendlier, and more aloof to hide our insecurities. And ultimately we are trying to be happier to please other people so that they will ‘like’ us and not ‘leave’ us!

The thing with happiness is that it isn’t something we can pretend. And it isn’t something outside of us. It comes from our ‘BEing’ level! It comes from who we are authentically. If fear prohibits us from being who we are, authentically, and courage is what will eventually allow us to be our authentic self, then why are masks used to make us feel safe?

I believe what happens is that we are unconsciously driven by our fears and we eventually walk around like sleepwalkers, unaware that we pretend to be someone else. As children we were naturally authentic and often didn’t care about what others thought of us but this fear crept in as we were disciplined and punished for BEing who we are. It became so ingrained in us to BE this person who would win approval that we kept on the masks that won approval and this ‘stuck’ on us and we became the masked person and forgot our authentic self.

We experiment with different masks on occasions such as Halloween, or in alcohol-infused situations, or on vacations and we have more courage, and as a result are more authentic, with these masks on. It is also probable that people use Halloween (masquerade) parties, alcohol and drugs, and even vacations to distract themselves from feeling uncomfortable about their lives as well as to give themselves courage. These distracting behaviors can be expressions of addictions and although I’m not going to delve into our ‘addictions’ in this article it is still worth mentioning because it is fear that pushes us to resort to addictions just as it is fear that makes us reach for masks.

I believe we want to experiment to remember who we are. And as we experiment we feel like we don’t have to worry that others will judge us when we wear an actual mask on Halloween or when we are ‘under the influence’ of alcohol, or are on vacation when we won’t be recognized and won’t be seeing again the people we meet. Ultimately these occasions assist us to feel safe BEing who we are.

So how can we remove our masks and be more authentic just as we may be on Halloween, under the influence of alcohol, or on vacation? I believe it will only happen when we are aware of what we are truly afraid of and breathe into our fears to see that they aren’t real but only part of our ‘story’. It can only happen if we choose to authentically feel into our bodies instead of avoiding feeling uncomfortable. It will happen when we get quiet and connect to the ‘now’ moment and with our body’s innate wisdom. It will happen when we feel safe inside enough to BE who we are. It will happen when we practice BEing our authentic self and not worrying about feeling judged for BEing who we are!

We can do this and perhaps instead of seeing these masks as a distraction we can allow our awareness of these masks to transport us towards our growth. And we can allow our Halloween experiences and our ‘vacation time’ to magically carry us into new opportunities to practice BEing authentic. Let’s have fun with this and celebrate our uniqueness!

See more at: http://www.intuitivesoul.com

 

Authenticity, BEing, Clearing and Healing Techniques, halloween, Heart-Centered Support Group, intuition and self awareness, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, masks, News for the Heart, News for the Heart Radio, Tom Campbell

What Choices do you make at your Trigger Point?

This month I want to write about something that has been occurring in my life on a regular basis. People are getting stuck in their lives and falling back on their ‘known’ story and so often such stories are full of drama because of the origin of those stories. This problem is occurring with people who are becoming conscious and honestly sincere in their evolution towards love. I believe that there is a mirror here for me and I’m exploring this as it isn’t just one client and I’m feeling stuck with my clients who are stuck! Oh MY!

I have been involved with several shows on ‘The Story of ME’ and it was the subject of my last blog.  And I have had several more shows since then with Christopher Papadopoulos, Thomas Campbell, and Jean Adrienne where we have also discussed this topic. So, we understand that this ‘story’ is not a representation of our truth, but really our story is from our perspectives that are due to our experiences that come from our egoic thinking mind. It typically has some level of insecurity, lack of self-confidence, inability to forgive or our trying to justify our actions or emotions. But we get stuck in the process and fall back into our ‘stories’!

What I want to explore is the moment we have that will allow us to make an easier shift towards getting out of our heads and into our bodies, heart and gut, where we can make present moment decisions that will not expedite our journey into full drama. That moment where we are first triggered. That moment when we are anxious or first feeling insecure, whatever the initial trigger is. That is the moment when we can head off the full blown drama attack.

So what is our ‘thinking mind’ really doing in that ‘trigger moment’? We’re trying to control and manipulate things so that they are the way we want them to be or believe we want them to be. But really the only thing we have any sort of control over, or have some sense of being in charge of, is our emotions (which our thinking mind doesn’t believe because it doesn’t deal with emotions but only thoughts and the memories of emotions).

So in the trigger moments I always say there is a choice! When that first moment of our trigger happens we can still make a rational choice. But after that we are in full blown attack and our rational mind is nowhere to be seen! Sometimes we just have to ride the wave and hope to come through the drama attack without too much damage.

So what is the choice you ask? It is to acknowledge we are feeling anxious. And to acknowledge that this anxiety creates a deeper fear within us that isn’t based on truth but rather a perceived misunderstanding that has been accepted as truth due to our past experiences. It means we can choose not to do the thing that makes it worse … you know grabbing food to fill the void or doing the thing that has the impact to push you to breaking point. It is the moment we can make a choice before the choice is appearing to be taken away from us. (The choice isn’t really taken away, it just feels like that.) It is that moment when we still have a choice to acknowledge that we are feeling uncomfortable before going over the edge. And if we can bring awareness into that feeling of discomfort we are conscious enough to bring ourselves into the now moment. Christopher Papadopoulos offered an amazing meditation in our last interview on this exact topic, it will allow us to move into our bodies to release the anxious energy. A must listen.

What I have learned from this whole experience was pretty impressive.  One of my longest term clients (and dear friend) who probably has triggered me the most due to the fact that our ‘stories’ are the same [we were both abandoned at a young age] inspired me to look deeper into this. I realized that what our ‘thinking mind’ is really doing is trying to put the blame or projecting the problem onto someone or something else; the closest thing for me is my health; for her it was an ex. These represent what we need to heal or accept within ourselves.

You see, we project our deepest core issues onto others when our core issue is much deeper and goes to a time when we weren’t conscious enough or emotionally mature enough to understand what was happening. I’ve been abandoning myself by making the wrong choices in my diet (filling the void with poor choices) and not being able to build my energy again. My client/friend had been making her issues about someone else when in fact the problem is never someone or something else… it is always our own issue.

So in a way our ego is just helping us heal or accept a deeper truth but our thinking mind goes to lay blame elsewhere! I think this is a normal response. It is just that if we can see the bigger picture then we can understand that our patterns and ‘stories’ were created before the age of 7 – before we were emotionally mature enough to comprehend what was happening, and unable to see that it wasn’t personal. As a spiritual Being we are able to understand mentally most concepts and feel into our emotions but as a child we had no reference point: we could only establish our own misunderstandings. And since we felt dependent on our parents we concluded, from a conceptual basis, this must be love.

To heal these wounds we have had to make different choices… and when we don’t realize that we continue with the same ‘stories’ as created by our young selves. We are unaware that what is happening isn’t just a re-enactment of the same core fear: these incidents continue to play out to assist us to create a different story.

At any point in the process we can create another story, choose to respond differently, see that it isn’t the other person or thing that is the problem but rather a belief we made before the age of 7 that is showing up to help us grow. Can you make the decision then – next time something ‘happens’ to you – to see the ‘bigger picture’ and choose to respond by becoming conscious and present?

- See more at: http://www.intuitivesoul.com

What if…?

We discussed a lot of sabotage this month, the month of change. September has been exciting and exhausting all in one. In my new Heart-Based Support Group with Jean Adrienne we have been discussing Sabotage. In a channeled message I did the question was asked ‘What if you knew that your spiritual growth was a given’? What if you knew that no matter what you did it would all turn out ‘perfectly’ and all the things that happen and all the things that you feel you have done wrong were all ‘perfect’ and in alignment with your higher purpose?

If you could be assured that no matter what happened or what you did, that everything was going to be okay, would that change how you are living your life? What about all the things we do to sabotage ourselves and our happiness… what if you knew that none of that mattered?

All the things you believe you were wrong about, felt regret over… all the wasted energy you have given over your diet, your relationships, your finances, your fears, and all of your suffering… what if it was all just a figment of your imagination… created with your ‘thinking mind’ and contributed to ‘your story’ that has spun everything out of control? Would this change how you live your life? Could you breathe and relax about your life? Could you take some time and enJOY the moments you’re experiencing in your life?

What if you could see into your future and connect with the Being you become and she or he could tell you or show you that it all worked out? Would you change; could you be more relaxed?

You CAN do this! There are many ways to achieve this. Opening your heart, connecting to the divine, listening to a channeled message of a divine being… these are ways to know that everything is going as you contracted your life to unfold.

What if you knew that the only thing we need to do is make choices and these choices are simply either towards love or towards fear?

I remember seeing the 1991 movie ‘Defending Your Life’ with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep. In this movie Albert is a sad man who made many poor choices all on fear and he has to go to ‘life court’ to defend why he made so many choices in fear. The movie was actually quite brilliant as it discusses our choices and whether we are ready for a higher place. The Meryl Streep character made spectacular choices and Albert’s character had to fight to move on. The lesson seems to be, in the movie and in life, that no matter what choices you have made in the past you can always change and move towards love. And we are guaranteed our evolvement.

I remember a past group I was involved with that, as most groups do, try and make you believe you are special and that you will move on to a better place and that someone close to me was looking forward to moving back into Source. But that isn’t the purpose of our life! Our purpose is to make choices and to continue growing towards love. Our real purpose is to choose LOVE!

So why then are so many of our choices based on fear? Why do we do things, how do we do things, even when do we do things so often based on fear? It’s time to make new choices. It’s time to stay present and get out of our busy monkey mind. When we are present and less mentally active we are more able to connect to our hearts, to our soul, and to our purpose! We make better choices this way and we realize that everything is okay even when our mind wants to tell us something else such as when our mind wants to reinforce our ‘story’ that keeps us stuck in fear.

So… what would you do differently? Would you find ways to hear the gentle guidance of your heart and soul, listen to the absolute knowing that everything is perfect?

Move towards love knowing that we can stop sabotaging ourselves and stop worrying that we are wrong or that we are a victim in this ever-changing world? Will you just relax into the flow and choose how you want to respond to life? I invite you to consider this possibility and change how you respond to the world – especially after this incredible Super Full Moon Total Eclipse these past few days! Our world is changing! And our Spiritual Growth is a Given.

-See more at: http://www.intuitivesoul.com

The Stories of ME

Image courtesy of njaj at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Since June I’ve been considering discussing this huge issue: the ‘stories we weave’ and how they impact everything in our lives. I have had the great honor of interviewing a new author Christopher Papadopoulos on his book Peace and Where to Find It, twice now (in June and this month, July). He discusses how our ‘thinking mind’ is involved in every moment we are awake. To achieve true Peace we must get out of our minds and into our hearts (sound familiar J). The key to doing this is in his new book. I chose 2 interviews as I wanted to discuss the concepts and then I wanted to discuss the practices.

How does ‘Peace’ fit into the ‘story of me’, you ask? I’m going to explain it. I hope! Our ‘stories’, our ‘identities’, are tied up in our thinking minds, (our egoic minds) and we elaborate on our ‘stories’ every time we maintain being unconsciously caught up in our heads! When we are constantly ‘thinking’ we are creating and cultivating our ‘stories’. You know the identity that is ’us’. It is who we believe we are from our ‘human perspective’. It is the ‘perceived’ image we have about our life … the labels we identify with, how we perceive others and what we believe others think about us! This is the ‘story of me’.

And we use words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ to describe these ‘perceptions’ we have of ourselves. We like to embellish our ‘stories’ and recreate our identities whenever possible. You get the idea … it is who we believe we are when we are caught up in our minds all day long.

However, there is evidence to suggest that our perceptions are not truth, therefore all our judgments about others and how we believe they are judging us, isn’t the truth. Who we tell the world we are isn’t our true essence! When we are in our minds we are stressed, our muscles are tense, and we are constantly ‘doing’ things (including things to distract us from our discomfort and allow for unconscious addictions). When we are in our hearts with our hearts open and when we are in our bodies being aware of our subtle energy and breath … we are present. When we are present, we can BE peace! When we are present, we can change the ‘story of me’ and create from a place of peace, unconditional love, or your true essence.

However, first we have to clearly see our identity and our constant need to think. We need to know that who we perceive we are is our egoic mind, our thinking mind, our story that we have created due to our experiences and our perceptions of these experiences. We need to choose how we want to BE in our lives first and allow our inner feelings to guide us on how we experience the world.

Typically, we get up out of bed and just get caught up in our lives without a thought about how we want to experience it. We become unconscious once we begin ‘doing’ anything: from brushing our teeth, to driving our cars, to working. We tend to live in our ‘thinking heads’ believing this is the only way to get through the day. We are in a constant state of ‘thinking’, ‘doing’, and ‘reaction’! Then we continue through the day thinking about what we did and what we perceived was done to us, finding ways to justify what we did and how we are ‘right’! These are the very ‘stories’ I’m speaking about.

This is not to say that we aren’t here to ‘do’ things… we are, but we are to ‘do’ from a conscious place. Imagine if we not only consciously breathed but consciously ate and ‘did’ things from a conscious state of BEing! This would stop most of our ‘stories’ from continuing and magnifying. We could lie in bed, decide how we would like to feel today, maybe happy, motivated, confident or clear and relaxed… then we connect with how that feels. Once we choose, we can create a connection with that feeling and when we feel ourselves deviating, once life happens, we can make another choice to go back to that ‘feeling’ … or another feeling. And our Heart would be in the driver’s seat.

We could continue to make choices all day on how we would rather feel. Don’t confuse this with visualizations or positive thinking; this is about becoming conscious and aware at all times. Christopher uses the body and I believe this is the key. Whenever we feel ourselves stepping out (you know when sh@t happens or when we are feeling uncomfortable we leave our bodies or exist from the ‘thinking mind’ only) we can become conscious of our body and our breathing and this will ground us back into our selves. Then we don’t add to our story, we can choose create a new one!

Remember I was going to bring Peace into our ‘story’; well peace is our inner state of BEing. It is our true essence that always exists without our perceptions, without our judgments, and without our ‘story of me’. Have a listen to the interviews I have done with Christopher to understand how we both believe that peace comes from within and is not something that we need to ‘work’ on or ‘change’ outside of us … we just need to become conscious. Our ‘stories’ come from us being unconscious and from our thinking minds. We can choose to create a new story to include one where ‘peace’ is our constant state of BEing!

What story would you like to live?