The Masks we Wear!

As we just completed the Halloween holiday my attention was focusing on the masks we wear! I completed an interview with Tom Campbell recently and masks came up as a theme. I feel that this ‘masks’ theme will also be covered with Christopher Papadopoulos Nov 10^th airing Nov 16^th.

One of my thoughts around this theme is that we wear masks all the time as we try to be – or hope to be – someone other’s will like and appreciate. You know the masks I’m talking about: the ‘family’ masks we wear to try and please others in the family; the ‘relationship’ masks we wear to our significant other so that they won’t ‘leave us’; the ‘work’ masks we wear when we dislike our job/co-worker/boss etc. We find all sorts of different ways to wear a mask believing that our masked self is who people want to see. The problem is if we wear a mask long enough we get stuck in it. We can’t be authentic by dropping the masks to the people we know well and maybe even love because how do we change now after having worn the mask so long? Or we may forget our authentic self completely and just keep wearing the masks!

Another thought I had about masks as we celebrated Halloween is that people can often be more authentic when they dress up and participate in Halloween. We also do this with alcohol and vacations. Why is it we can feel comfortable BEing our authentic selves with some makeup to hide who we are, with some alcohol to give us courage to BE who we are, or with a vacation where we can experiment with pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones into our authentic selves or is it just because we are in a different place where no one knows us so we are able to BE our authentic selves?

Fear is the problem that we try to resolve through masks and it is courage that we require to free us from our masks or fear. Fear definitely is the culprit that helps us create our masks. We are afraid that we aren’t enough as we are and that we must be nicer, friendlier, and more aloof to hide our insecurities. And ultimately we are trying to be happier to please other people so that they will ‘like’ us and not ‘leave’ us!

The thing with happiness is that it isn’t something we can pretend. And it isn’t something outside of us. It comes from our ‘BEing’ level! It comes from who we are authentically. If fear prohibits us from being who we are, authentically, and courage is what will eventually allow us to be our authentic self, then why are masks used to make us feel safe?

I believe what happens is that we are unconsciously driven by our fears and we eventually walk around like sleepwalkers, unaware that we pretend to be someone else. As children we were naturally authentic and often didn’t care about what others thought of us but this fear crept in as we were disciplined and punished for BEing who we are. It became so ingrained in us to BE this person who would win approval that we kept on the masks that won approval and this ‘stuck’ on us and we became the masked person and forgot our authentic self.

We experiment with different masks on occasions such as Halloween, or in alcohol-infused situations, or on vacations and we have more courage, and as a result are more authentic, with these masks on. It is also probable that people use Halloween (masquerade) parties, alcohol and drugs, and even vacations to distract themselves from feeling uncomfortable about their lives as well as to give themselves courage. These distracting behaviors can be expressions of addictions and although I’m not going to delve into our ‘addictions’ in this article it is still worth mentioning because it is fear that pushes us to resort to addictions just as it is fear that makes us reach for masks.

I believe we want to experiment to remember who we are. And as we experiment we feel like we don’t have to worry that others will judge us when we wear an actual mask on Halloween or when we are ‘under the influence’ of alcohol, or are on vacation when we won’t be recognized and won’t be seeing again the people we meet. Ultimately these occasions assist us to feel safe BEing who we are.

So how can we remove our masks and be more authentic just as we may be on Halloween, under the influence of alcohol, or on vacation? I believe it will only happen when we are aware of what we are truly afraid of and breathe into our fears to see that they aren’t real but only part of our ‘story’. It can only happen if we choose to authentically feel into our bodies instead of avoiding feeling uncomfortable. It will happen when we get quiet and connect to the ‘now’ moment and with our body’s innate wisdom. It will happen when we feel safe inside enough to BE who we are. It will happen when we practice BEing our authentic self and not worrying about feeling judged for BEing who we are!

We can do this and perhaps instead of seeing these masks as a distraction we can allow our awareness of these masks to transport us towards our growth. And we can allow our Halloween experiences and our ‘vacation time’ to magically carry us into new opportunities to practice BEing authentic. Let’s have fun with this and celebrate our uniqueness!

See more at: http://www.intuitivesoul.com

 

Authenticity, BEing, Clearing and Healing Techniques, halloween, Heart-Centered Support Group, intuition and self awareness, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, masks, News for the Heart, News for the Heart Radio, Tom Campbell

What keeps you up at night?

This month I went to Trudy Van Buskirk’s network meeting Women Entrepreneurs Building Businesses  in the Beach to meet up with author Suzan St Maur. It was a workshop on writing blogs. My favorite piece of advice was “what keeps your clients awake at night”. This is what I have pondered for the past few weeks.
For me it isn’t what keeps me up at night, but what wakes me up and keeps me up in the early hours of the morning.

When I think about you, my clients/friends, and myself, I know that financial problems keep us awake. Although, it isn’t so much the lack of funds as it is the bills!! We think about love, although, again not so much the wonderful things going on as much as the problems. I have had issues with PAIN, however, pain becomes a much bigger issue as well. There is physical pain, emotional pain, and mental stress. (It isn’t too often that we lie awake curious of our spiritual journey; although, that is a great conscious meditation.)

Physical pain can definitely keep you awake, but where does it come from? And why is it there? Emotional pain and mental stress are probably the biggest areas we fret about. That pretty much covers all relationships from our family, to our friends, to our colleagues and our romantic relationships.

I believe it is safe to say that what keeps us awake, is not loving matters, but fear! Fear seems to be the culprit if we want to give it one name. I’m sure there are times when we are excited about something, but if it keeps us awake, it is likely due to projecting fear of the unknown or anxiety about something; which again, is really just fear!

Our fears come in many different colors and names, but if you can take it down to one thing, and see the spectrum as love on one side and fear on the other, whatever you name it; it will ultimately be a fear. Anger, anxiety, stress, jealousy, doubt, frustration, depression, guilt, shame, grief, envy can all be seen as a fear, because they come from our experiences in our early childhood that created a core value or belief that fears something. It may be abandonment, feelings of unworthiness, being misunderstood, judged, rejected, powerless, feeling unsafe – the list goes on. Each of us has a unique belief that we have chosen to work on in this life and our experiences in our childhood set the tone for our repeated patterns.

I think what I would like for you to contemplate is what keeps you awake at night (or early morning hours)? I would like to assist you in these areas. I would like to guide you to see that your focus is on your fears, and how once you start worrying about something, you aren’t actually focused on the solution. And the middle of the night, will not allow you to solve anything. A great way that I have learned to find solutions is to write it, or think about it prior to going to bed and either allow my dreams or in the in-between hours (the time right before you fall asleep or right as you are waking up) answers come to you. At one of my lowest times, I decided that I had focused so much of my energy on my fears, that I used a new technique; I downloaded several series of books and decided that I would just read, instead of worrying. This did several things, it allowed me to delve into my imagination far better than movies or Netflix could ever do (they were large novels of approximately 1000 pages, so it would take me a day to finish each one and move onto the next, I didn’t have time to think about my problems); and it shifted my focus from worrying to an exciting journey; a journey that may have been somewhat predictable, but had many interesting twists. What it did was change my energy completely. Instead of being focused on what wasn’t working in my life, I was able to delve into someone else’s life! And because our imagination doesn’t know what is real it began to believe that I was no longer having financial difficulties, because all the books I was reading were of successful eccentric people and it shifted my emotions of lack to excitement.

These two suggestions have really helped me, reading straight for a couple of weeks is quite extreme, but I needed an extreme change in my life and way of thinking and this provided me with the shift. However, for most working on our dreams and using the in-between time will be effective and is how I discover my answers now. I can assist you to uncover your answers as well. This can happen through my intuitive guidance and through coaching to align our three brains, our gut is predominantly in charge of making us feel safe (an issue we often associate with fears). Let me know what keeps you awake at night!

See more at: http://www.intuitivesoul.com/what-keeps-you-up-at-night