Expectations and Attachments

We have all heard that we have Infinite Possibilities available to us as long as we can let go of expectations and are unattached to the outcome. Have you ever created a perfect moment? Have you ever connected to your Bliss where the Universe can’t help but reward you with feeling Love and Joy?

We sometimes connect to the Flow of the Universe and feel Love and Accepted but what about those times when we are really attached to an outcome like when a bill comes that we weren’t expecting and we can’t pay it? What about those times when we have expectations on how a day will unfold because of how days like this have unfolded in the past? Like on Thanksgiving with our family – those who have good experiences with their family expect a fun day – those who expect lots of petty fights and arguments to break out often have our fears reinforced and what’s worse is we feel we are not enough. And lastly, what about those times when we are absolutely confident that we were treated poorly, were a victim or hurt by someone we love because of how we interpreted their actions or words?

Expectations and Attachments create so much harm to us and we often aren’t even aware of it happening. We tend to create expectations and attachments quickly and easily. It is similar to our judgments; we do it so quickly we don’t realize we have done it. And before we know it we are sliding down a slippery slope into stress and dis-ease. Why do expectations and attachments cause stress and dis-ease? Because our ego wants to be in control and when we aren’t in control we start to look for things we can do that will correct this and … down the spiral we go. The problem of course is we can never be in control – we can only BE in charge of how we respond – and that can only occur if we are in the moment and conscious. 

Most of our expectations and attachments are unconscious; coming from our past experiences which, because of our expectations and attachments tend to repeat experiences in our present – and sometimes those repeat experiences are not the ones we really want . The only way to change this to allow us more opportunity to experience more of those perfect moments is for us to become more aware of ourselves and of what is happening around us. We have to BEcome more conscious of our everyday lives – our thoughts, our beliefs, our fears – and the reasons why we react to situations or people within our environment the way we do.

The question is what are your fears? What fear continues to push you to create these expectations and attachments? What are you striving to prove to yourself? Is it just the Ego that wants your expectations and attachments met? 

Often we seek validation outside of ourselves and this comes from not feeling valued or enough within our lives. We also are unconsciously setting up situations that prove to us our fears. These expectations prove to us that we are not good enough or valued by society and then we compare ourselves and believe that everyone else is good enough. Our fears push us to perceive the world through our filters that come from our fears that create outcomes that reinforce why we fear things in the first place. It is a never-ending cycle that has to be stopped – this can only be done by understanding what our fears are.

When we have expectations about our attachments to outcomes over which we have no control – and we know it – and those situations are ones that we don’t like (even though we have created them unconsciously) we tend to be fearful of what we have created or what we are creating and to think that it is our own expectations to outcomes and our own attachments to outcomes we do not like that trigger this whole cycle. If we could just understand our fears we could at least have more opportunities to be in those moments that we can only describe as ‘perfect moments’. And how do we let go of our fears? How can we accept the pathway to perfect moments? 

We can let go of the expectation that we need to be validated by something outside of us – to see ourselves as we are – only each of us can see ourselves for who we are! We tend to look outside ourselves for validation that we are okay. We hope that – expect that – we are lovable and accepted for who we are based on whether we are validated by those around us. It’s like we all still seek our parents’ approval for who we are. 

The problem is: most of us did not receive our parents approval – at least not in every situation – and that is most likely because our parents didn’t receive the approval they were looking for. This will set up the expectations that continue to make us feel unloved, under-valued and unaccepted in some way. The expectation that someone else has to validate us on almost a continuous basis – takes us into a spiral that can never be sustained. We become attached to seeking approval outside of ourselves – when what we really need is to find love and acceptance within ourselves. We will always find faults when we look outside ourselves for validation; plus we will – or perhaps more correctly our “ego” will – search for ways to show us we can never measure up. We feed our fears by trying to prove we aren’t loved and accepted for who we are!

How do we get out of this spiral? We first need to BEcome more conscious of what is happening around us. And that isn’t about what is happening outside of us but rather what our reactions and responses are within us. Recognize our deepest fear and how that fear often creates more fear. Notice when we are seeking approval outside ourselves and find a way to connect inside to our Blissful Essence that is Infinite. Then make different choices. The one thing we are in charge of is our choices. We can choose to do the same thing over and over and hope we have a different outcome (definition of ‘insanity’) or we can choose small shifts that will allow us to let go of our expectations and attachments.

I choose to BEcome aware of the Divine BEing that I am. I choose to know that everything happens for a reason and that I am where I am because of the choices I have made. This empowers me to make different choices! It empowers me to KNOW that I am Divinely Perfect and no matter what has happened in the past it doesn’t define who I am now. I choose to lovingly take steps to embrace the Divine within. What choices do you make?

Content Source- https://www.intuitivesoul.com/expectations-and-attachments
 
This entry was posted in Blog and tagged Expectations and Attachments, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, Love and Acceptance, Tom Campbell, Validation

Feelings vs Emotions

This month my inspiration came from Emmanuel Dagher’s Club Miracles healing call – where he discussed the difference between Emotions and Feelings. I found it fascinating: he sees our emotions as something we have judged as either good or bad – where our feelings are from a state of BEing and are not identified or judged as either good or bad, they just are. Emmanuel’s definition goes against the traditional definitions of emotions and feelings. Which made me wonder about whether we tend to judge most of our emotions through our past experiences and if there is a way to come from a place of BEing when it comes to our feelings?  

When thinking about our feelings and whether we are in a state of BEing instead of unconsciously judging ourselves – it is easy to see how emotions can cloud our judgment. I believe our experiences have been interpreted through our lenses of our beliefs and we create judgments around these experiences and labels that have told us whether something is good or bad. We often unconsciously experience through our emotions and we have decided whether it is a good or bad experience based on the emotion we believed we received from the event. However, this is where we can learn a lot about ourselves. If something gives us Joy does it actually come from a judgment? We may experience Joy – or our interpretation of Joy – when we believe we are superior to someone or something else – but could that be True Joy? Or can we in be in charge and responsible for how we respond in each moment – can we choose to BE happy, or how we want to respond, even if something is appearing to be happening around us like every piece of equipment breaking down – and just BE?  

To me these are fascinating questions, maybe not so much for the expression of Joy, as this has been judged as a ‘good’ thing;  but what about the more negative emotions? What about when we seem to automatically get road rage or when something that we have judged as going wrong leaves us feeling frustrated, angry, confused or rather –  a state of fear? It would appear that we are not in charge of how we respond. We seem to automatically judge situations and then our judgments condition us to experience the situations as we have previously judged them. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could just BE in the moment and not emotionally react to the situations around us – such as when something isn’t working or we aren’t receiving the service we expect? Or are these just my unconscious reactions? If we could let go of all the fears associated with our beliefs – all the negative emotions that we have judged as bad or wrong – wouldn’t that open us up to having new experiences in the Now Moment where we can just feel out what is happening without the judgment?   

Judgment is the one thing that can limit our experiences. Not only do we judge our experience through our emotion – such as ‘frustration’ – but then we also will judge the frustration based on other times we have experienced it. This doesn’t allow us to fully BE in the moment and also continues our BEing unconscious as our judgment tells us how it compares to other similar experiences. So, when we have someone on the phone who isn’t listening to us – we may overreact and not only ruin their day but also our own – when our judgment was all based on a misunderstanding because we fell into a judgment  pattern. Depending on how deep the emotion is – our judgment of the emotion may unconsciously create more angst or charge than the situation called for. It is only when we are BEing in the Now Moment that we can give someone the space to communicate and express who they are without our pre-judging them and just allowing it to be a New Experience where we are allowed to Grow and Evolve.   

If we are open to Feeling and committed to BEing in the Now Moment – then we have an opportunity to allow the moment to unfold – instead of finding just another way to allow it to not fully be experienced and also judged. If it can unfold naturally – without the judgment – we could ‘let go’ of many of the beliefs that we hold onto. We can’t ‘grow-up’ if we are still unconscious and it is hard to enJOY life when we respond unconsciously to people and situations around us.  

Judgments are what create so many problems within our world. Not only because judgment limits our experiences but also because it creates an ‘ego’ altercation that makes us feel we can judge and also make ourself ‘better’ then someone else when we believe we are seeing the situation as black and white or good and bad. Whenever our ego takes over – through judging a situation – we step into linear time of past and future. We unconsciously see the world through our experiences and emotions. We may feel proud, angry or any other emotion but we won’t be able to shift it or be in charge of how we respond and react. We will be caught up in some situation that has been pre-judged and therefore unable to allow new experiences to be created.  

So, I invite you to BEcome aware of the emotions that you are expressing. Find a way to Feel those emotions, it’s okay to do that, but without falling into the judgments we have identified – or not yet identified – as patterns within our experiences. BE Open to how you are actually feeling in any given moment and BE authentic and express it – but without judgment. You choose how you want to actually BE in each moment. When you are present – you can make a decision on whether you want to continue expressing unconsciously or whether you want to create new experiences based on your intentions to BE and Feel each moment as it is.  

And as we intend each moment to be perfect for us – let’s Honor each moment and allow each of our moments to BE chosen by us in the way we want to respond to Life. Then the Magic will unfold and we will begin to choose Love and other positive emotions over fear and other negative emotions. We will BE present with our Feelings – the ones we have chosen.  

Blog Content Source- https://www.intuitivesoul.com/feelings-vs-emotions
 

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged BEing in Charge of Emotions, Being vs Doing, Emmanuel Dagher, fear vs love, Feelings vs Emotions, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Judgments, Laurie Huston.