2019 Year of Claiming

Can you believe that it is almost 2019? The year of Mastery 2018 was challenging with all the personal retrograde planets that impacted us throughout the year. 2019 will only have 3 Mercury Retrogrades and both Mars and Venus will be direct all year. Mastery was all about understanding and growing who we are. This New Year has been termed Year of Claiming by Lori Wilson and while she channeled her New Year Forecast by Grandmother.

2019 Year of Claiming

While listening to Lori’s interview I wanted to explore some of the relevant points that I felt impacted me. Before being able to ‘claim’ yourself this year you have to have felt ‘claimed’. I think this was instrumental in examining my life. For most of my life I have not felt ‘claimed’ by my family or felt I belonged. I have always searched for my acceptance and inclusion with a deeper spiritual family. Unfortunately this did not always have a happy ending. I know what it is like to feel abandoned, as it has been my ‘story’ for most of my life. However, I have for many years, recognized it as a ‘story’ – I see things from this perspective even when another part of me knows this isn’t truth. My search for a spiritual family often hurt even more than a family I never really felt a connection to – due to my feelings about being adopted – because I felt like my spiritual community should live from the same code of ethics that I lived by. Unfortunately that was almost never the case – as ego impacts us all – especially those given roles – and I would view any perceived betrayal from my perspective of ‘abandonment’. A lose/lose perceived situation.

Lori and Grandmother reminded me that my claiming was never from people – maybe my cats – but like most people I feel a deep connection with nature. I remember as a child that whenever I felt a need to find my connection, wellbeing or happiness and when I felt the most open was finding my way to a specific ‘place’ – a sacred place to me was being in nature: walking through a forest, sitting by Georgian Bay or watching the stars. Today I still feel the need to find comfort in residing so close to the Lake and walking along it daily and by searching the skies. I don’t really live anywhere near a forest anymore although there are some lovely big old trees. I do feel claimed by both the water and the night skies (even under the light pollution of Toronto). We need to be reminded that there is something Bigger than ourselves available to us.

We need to be reminded that there is something Bigger than ourselves available to us – a sense of community and belonging

Once we feel ‘claimed’ and remind ourselves that we are connected and part of something bigger – a sense of community and belonging – then we can work on ‘claiming’ ourselves outwardly. The first place we are recommended to start is our ‘home’. Grandmother suggests that we first need to feel our ‘home’ is where we ‘nest’ and most of us tend to focus our energies on others and putting their needs before us. I know that is something I work with a lot and often in the past few years I have nested much more. This incoming year is important to ‘nest’ but not for hiding or healing, at least for me. I see this as a need to use our ‘home’ as a way to feel safe and to expand our ‘claiming’ of who we are. I was told in my recent interview with Lori and Grandmother that hibernation in my ‘home’ is necessary and I need to work on this ‘claiming’ by writing and enhancing my teaching abilities to assist each of you to recognize you are Divinely Unique. I like that because honestly I still need to feel my safe place is home. ‘Home’ to me is where the Heart lies and my actual home is where I live and work – so feeling safe in my ‘home’ is a must.

Next is our body – 2018 was a year where I focused on my health as I have had some challenges over the past few years – so I really wanted to feel better from within. I have been taking more responsibility over my health; I have witnessed how harmful some substances – that are socially acceptable like sugar and alcohol – are to our temples. I know that teaching about addictions may be a continuation of the teachings of my work as it relates to viewing how we distract ourselves and harm ourselves because we allow our fears to push us to seek something comforting when we are feeling emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually uncomfortable. Learning that our body is a temple and nourishing it is my new priority and now that it is working better I can definitely focus on nourishing it and honoring it as my inner home.

I can feel that the definition of ‘home’ seems to be a theme both personally and for 2019 as a whole. To ‘claim’ yourself or who you are requires knowing your ‘home’ – both physically as in where you live and also the ‘home’ within your body. What does ‘home’ mean to you? If our ‘home’ isn’t safe and nourishing then how can we fully stand up to ‘claim’ who we are? We need to unconditionally Love and Accept our Self, our inner and outer environment as well as the community within which we live. To fully Love and Accept we need to take responsibility for where we are before we can truly ‘know’ who we are. So ‘home’ will have a greater importance this year as we accept responsibility for what we choose to focus on doing. Claiming our Self will require nourishing and nurturing ‘Home’!

My hope for you this 2019 is for you to Claim your excellence and Divine Uniqueness within everything you do and to allow your ‘Home’ to shine brightly the Divine Essence that is all that You Are!

Focus 2019 shared by Lori and Grandmother offers two hours of valuable information which I highly recommend listening to so that you can determine what your focus will be. I will come to a deeper understanding of ‘home’ so that I can ‘claim’ my new focus of teaching. I will honor and nurture my inner and outer expression of Who I Am and step easily and Graciously into Radiating Unconditional Love and Acceptance while acknowledging the Divine within everything! My hope for you this 2019 is for you to Claim your excellence and Divine Uniqueness within everything you do and to allow your ‘Home’ to shine brightly the Divine Essence that is all that You Are!

From my Heart to Yours 

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged addictions, Divine Health, Happy New Year 2019, Home, Laurie Huston, Lori Wilson, Year of Claiming. Bookmark the permalink.

Healing through Dreams & Synchronicities

Seems like an odd direction for my thought process this month … however as I was preparing for a 21 day healing event with Emmanuel Dagher and Ziad Hashash – where I had to come up with the direction for this healing opportunity – I uncovered a series of what could be seen as unrelated events that I will say were synchronistic guidance from my Divine guidance system that happens to work in very unique ways. It’s like putting together pieces of a puzzle – at least when it comes to me hearing my own guidance. When it comes to offering guidance to others I am much clearer and precise. With me I tend to need many things to convince myself or find the thread that may assist me to be guided in the right direction.

The early morning began with a dream. Typically my dreams are in a helping manner and my reason for going to an event in my dreams is to help someone else. However the two people I went with in my dream in the early morning did not receive the initiation. Instead: I did. In my dream it was with an old teacher who I left because I uncovered that he was working with some very dark energies. However in this dream the initiation was a very powerful one around opening my Goddess connection to Sacred Sexuality and in the dream the old teacher and I began dating. When I awoke from the dream I remember feeling overwhelmed with love and knew something powerful had occurred in the dream time as well as possibly a forgiveness of old hurts. Then I listened to both meditations from Ziad and Emmanuel and something in Ziad’s meditation began the process of trying to understand my current health issue and was supported with Emmanuel’s core work.

Since July of last year, I’ve had some issues with a molar and what I thought would be a simple cavity filling (3^rd time for this tooth) turned into a need for a root canal. However the infection never really went away so last Oct I had an infection that began to go septic and even though I did the ‘right’ things – antibiotics and antibiotic care then a series of holistic treatments to support my immune system – the abscess is still present. For some reason I had never looked up the significance of this tooth or asked my body what it needed.

So I finally did some research and found some fascinating information on teeth and root canals. One piece to the puzzle that I found was that this particular tooth was on never fitting in or feeling like an outsider. Now this didn’t become clearer until I began describing it in an interview I was doing with Jean Adrienne later that day. That’s when I realized that for the past couple of years I have been desiring a healthy relationship with someone I could share my life with. Given the dream that morning it clicked in place  that most of the men that I found – or found me – never really ‘got me’ and (wait for it)… unconsciously I felt like I couldn’t fit in. We strong, accomplished, spiritual teachers often intimidate men. So we look for strong men who are not easily intimidated by us to share our lives with.

However such men don’t tend to be in the Spiritual community. And once I find such men and they find out who I am they often get scared away. To me, obviously, I would rather be alone and happy (which I am) than compromise who I am. But there is obviously a belief that I have around relationships and not fitting into the ‘typical’ relationship. It is my belief and my story that creates this dilemma and not actually what is happening. I probably come off too strong in the beginning or don’t open up quick enough because I don’t trust that they will be able to accept who I am and I don’t trust that I am safe with them. So, my infection is confirming my belief that I don’t fit in. And the poor choices that I make show I am not quite as open as I had thought.

However, it doesn’t negate that I am happy the way I am right now. I have a successful home business doing everything I love! I set my own hours. I love where I live and the area I live in. I have the most precious gift in my newest kitten that has allowed me to open up differently. I honor my journey and do everything I can to heal my sacred wounds. I am truly happy. Yet I recognize when I sabotage different areas of my life and know that if I was truly ready and open I would be in a relationship!

My health has transformed over the past couple of years and now I only have a couple of areas that still require my attention – far fewer areas than 2 years ago. I also recognize that when it comes to one’s health you have to be very careful how you focus your attention! If there is pain you can’t heal it if that is where your attention goes. Which brings me back to relationships: if you still have outstanding beliefs (known or unknown) you won’t achieve what you desire most. I continued to put my attention on the areas that weren’t complete.

I am profoundly grateful to uncover an area that was unknown to me consciously which obviously my body was aware of. I recognize that everything works together to collaborate in this amazing journey we call life. I encourage you to challenge yourself to put the puzzle pieces of your life together and to celebrate the missing or broken pieces for those such pieces lead to greater awareness and opportunities of acceptance that allow us to see our wholeness and perfection. We truly are living in incredible times where we can see our Divinity and Wholeness as who we are. And I suspect that after my 21 days of healing I will see some beautiful changes within. Thank you Emmanuel and Ziad in advance for you have already gifted me with so much!

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What would you do… if you Loved yourself?

Recently, I came into contact with an amazing healer Ziad Hashash https://www.facebook.com/ziadhach and have purchased his Divine Partner series that has been an incredible journey into LOVE! He asked this powerful question in his Self-Love session: If you loved yourself what would you do? To ask yourself this for 21 days every time you have to make a decision small or big it is a way to honor your choices and your Divine Child.

As I pondered this question I saw how many times I sabotaged myself. I began making better choices and could see that there are reasons for everything. Last week, Ziad discussed needs and manipulation in the Divine Love section of the series. This was the last piece I needed to help me see – or to have wisdom – as to why certain things were still sabotaging my desire for divine health from the inside out.

Let’s discuss what this means. We have needs and wants that were never met as children and these needs turn into patterns by the age of 7. These needs have blocked us from moving forward towards love. And they never matured into our adult understanding of who we are now. These are usually basic needs such as needing to be loved, needing to be heard, seen, supported, acknowledged, and safe and these needs have affected our self-worth.

Fast forward to whoever you have now become, a ‘you’ who has pushed these needs down into your subconscious and they now come out as manipulations. Not intentionally, but acting out as our wounded inner child who still needs these needs met, we often sabotage ourselves by asking for the needs we had as children to be fulfilled. For example: someone who has been abandoned and didn’t feel safe as a child would still manipulate life around her to have others show her she is now supported or safe. Can you see how this would work? Since we don’t realize this is a need from our 1-7 year old self we manipulate our world around us and we manipulate others so that we can have others show us what we need. The problem with this is that it is manipulating others and we don’t actually get what we need because what we need needs to come from within as we address the real needs of the inner wounded child! However knowing about the how and why of your manipulative actions can give great insights into why things continue to thwart your deeper needs: the healing of the inner child.

I need to make an aside about manipulation here: we aren’t talking about manipulating maliciously; we are talking about how as a small child we needed to have certain needs met, needs related to learning something that we likely contracted to learn in this life. Something that is related to a core belief so that we continue to search for our needs to be met outside of us because we ultimately feel separate from God. Our parents did the best they could and were likely contracted to support our learning by doing something like in my case putting me up for adoption to help me learn about feeling safe and supported. So I searched outside of myself to feel safe and supported while my adoptive parents, friends, and loves could never meet that need no matter how they tried because it wasn’t the outside that was the problem. So, when I would manipulate myself, my body and others it wasn’t malicious. It was to finally understand my need within.

My need within for Divine Health.

Once I asked myself – and healed some of the reasons I was making poor eating choices for example – ‘if I loved myself, what would I do’, I had other areas come up such as pain that was blocking me from being able to move freely! But I wasn’t asking why I had pain? So, where I thought I had healed one area I just brought another up for observation and I became more aware of it because of the pain. My need for feeling safe and supported was now being highlighted.

I realized this ‘pain’ was just another result of where I was sabotaging my health to manipulate myself and others to feel safe and supported within. That was the true problem! All of the past few years of ‘pain’ have been helping me, or trying to help me, see the truth behind my not feeling safe and supported. Because the outside world can’t make me feel safe or supported it is my wounded inner child that is manipulating everything outside to show me my inner beliefs and needs!

No matter how much I change my outside world to reflect how safe and supported I truly am I will continue to manipulate myself and others around me until I can feel safe and supported inside! Yet I would have never seen any of this without the help of this so important question: If you loved yourself, what would you do? And I would never have seen this without the continuous questioning of why certain things are ‘happening’ in my world.

Everything is in our life for a reason! Every person, ache, allergy, dis-ease… everything! Yet if we continue to see everything as personal and continue to engage our ego we will miss the lesson.

If we continue to blame and judge another for what is happening in our lives we miss the lesson! If we judge or shame ourselves we miss the lesson. The lesson isn’t outside of us, it is the light that is inside that has been bruised by a belief that we could have chosen before we were even born!

How empowering is the question “if you loved yourself what would you do?” I invite you to continue to dig even deeper into all the pieces of your magnificent puzzle that is YOU! You might uncover why you do the things you do, and shift into just BEing your true essence! You might finally understand your “wounded child” and honor your Divine Child within. You could uncover why you manipulate yourself – and others – and make choices that are healthier and then, shining even greater, the Light that is YOU!

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged #manipulation, #sabotage, #self-love, choices, Clearing and Healing Techniques, clearing energy, Divine Health, Divine Love, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, Ziad Hashash. Bookmark the permalink.

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