Shame on… Me?

I’ve been contemplating many things over the past few years – when my health began to take a turn with chronic pain when I had two Frozen Shoulders several years ago. I began to take notice of my emotions and fears. Dealing with chronic pain was new to me and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. My body wasn’t happy and I have taken years to get it to a place where I feel I may finally be getting better, more aligned and balanced. This journey has taken many twists and turns – frozen shoulders were just the beginning and it was a reminder that I need to be more conscious of what is happening to my body.

Since then and especially this past two years I have learned a lot about my fears associated with me. One area has always been my weight and I didn’t fully appreciate the connection weight has to food, exercise or even hormones until recently. And when it comes to weight gain – I have noticed that we have a great deal of shame associated with our bodies. We see the way media portrays health and although models seem unhealthy to me the media seems to have made such models the dreams of every young girl – and recently boys – and these dreams seem to be connected to our thoughts about our body image and how in many cases we try to or fail to achieve the ‘ideal body image’. And why is this? There is a lot at play here but ‘addiction’ is one such challenge.

When it comes to addictions – food – is the one area we can’t just stop. We have to eat. Smoking, drug abuse, excessive streaming are areas that we can stop cold turkey (albeit not easily). But food, stopping eating – not so easy. Recognition of addictions are key to understanding how we sooth ourselves when feeling uncomfortable. Emotional eating is something many struggle with – and this is the kind of eating we do when we feel uncomfortable. And we could be uncomfortable about many things in our lives. And with comfort eating may come comfort weight gain but that is not actually very comfortable at all because the shame associated with weight or our body image is unbelievable!

We are the only one to blame when it comes to our weight. We can play the victim and say it is genes – or blame the processed food industry etc. – but ultimately we know that we are at fault. And so what do we do? We shame ourselves for appearing the way we do.

When it comes to food we have little control over our ego’s needs and desires. In fact we probably don’t even realize how insidious our ego is when we feel sad, depressed or out of control – and then we reach for food (or whatever is our vice) to comfort us. It becomes an automatic response to our emotions. Our ego spends an inordinate amount of time focusing on what we shouldn’t be eating. Eventually it wears us down and we reach for something that will soothe our emotional state.

Once we reach for something to soothe us we begin the cycle of shame and guilt. We give in and often feel we have “no willpower” to make better choices. This leads to a downward spiral often leaving us depressed and unhappy. We offer statements to life that “next time or next week I’ll do better”. We don’t realize that our ego is sabotaging us at every turn – it’s that insufferable voice that creates fear by shaming and triggering our reactions. Trying not to give in becomes an obsession as that is all our mind can think about. For periods of time we can do better and we feel we are in control. But our ego is often in control of our lives; using fear to control and sabotage our best efforts. And it is our fears via ego that ultimately take control or our reactions. However, it is the shame out of most of the emotions that overwhelms us and makes us fall back into our old patterns of reactions.

With the overabundance of information on diets and food it is no wonder we are confused – what is best for us – low fat, low sugar, celery juice, keto, Atkins and the list goes on and on. However science seems to be clarifying our understanding as we now know, for example, that sugar is really a drug and GMO products are interfering with the balance of our internal body systems. Then we take into consideration the multiple food intolerances that are changing how our bodies interact with food and there is also our gut health which has become so crucial to how we tolerate and process food. Yet when we feel uncomfortable – stressed, depressed, saddened – we reach for something comforting. And then focuses on something to distract us from whatever it is that is making us feel uncomfortable.  And that is why ‘comfort food’ eating happens: it’s a distraction. Question: Is it our ego determines our eating patterns?

However, it is the shame that seemingly defines us. It is the shame that makes us want to hide instead of participate in life. Shame stops us from acknowledging how our ego is sabotaging us. Shame is a powerful emotion that forces us to continue to hurt ourselves. How do you come to a place of acceptance when you feel so ashamed of who you are? How do you forgive yourself for something that you feel so ashamed about?

Shame is an emotion that we find challenging to deal with. We may have learned to not take it personally when someone is ashamed of us – like families or friends. However, we find it almost impossible to make choices – healthy choices – when we are ashamed of ourselves. The thing is we can’t allow shame to shame us. We are exactly where we are supposed to be. If we are learning about body image and healthy foods for our digestive system – it is an ongoing process.

I think it is time we realize that the world we live in is so much more than we acknowledge. This world is Magical and Beautiful. We are the center of our world and we can choose how to respond. So don’t allow your ego to trick and sabotage your intention for a healthy life. Become educated about YOU. If you can’t make changes to your diet immediately – or fail to follow a program perfectly – acknowledge that it is part of the journey and don’t let any temporary sense of failure derail you. Find a way to unconsciously Love and Accept who you are right NOW. Don’t worry about the past or the future. Change happens in the moment. Connect to your Inner Goddess/God and Breathe. You can choose how you want to respond to your ego and your cravings. You can choose to BE without shame because where you are right now is the only way to embrace YOU.

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged addictions, Body Confidence, Fear and Ego, Laurie Huston, Love and Acceptance, Shame, Shame on... Me?, Weight Loss. Bookmark the permalink.

Content Source- https://www.intuitivesoul.com/shame-on-me#more-8906

2019 Year of Claiming

Can you believe that it is almost 2019? The year of Mastery 2018 was challenging with all the personal retrograde planets that impacted us throughout the year. 2019 will only have 3 Mercury Retrogrades and both Mars and Venus will be direct all year. Mastery was all about understanding and growing who we are. This New Year has been termed Year of Claiming by Lori Wilson and while she channeled her New Year Forecast by Grandmother.

2019 Year of Claiming

While listening to Lori’s interview I wanted to explore some of the relevant points that I felt impacted me. Before being able to ‘claim’ yourself this year you have to have felt ‘claimed’. I think this was instrumental in examining my life. For most of my life I have not felt ‘claimed’ by my family or felt I belonged. I have always searched for my acceptance and inclusion with a deeper spiritual family. Unfortunately this did not always have a happy ending. I know what it is like to feel abandoned, as it has been my ‘story’ for most of my life. However, I have for many years, recognized it as a ‘story’ – I see things from this perspective even when another part of me knows this isn’t truth. My search for a spiritual family often hurt even more than a family I never really felt a connection to – due to my feelings about being adopted – because I felt like my spiritual community should live from the same code of ethics that I lived by. Unfortunately that was almost never the case – as ego impacts us all – especially those given roles – and I would view any perceived betrayal from my perspective of ‘abandonment’. A lose/lose perceived situation.

Lori and Grandmother reminded me that my claiming was never from people – maybe my cats – but like most people I feel a deep connection with nature. I remember as a child that whenever I felt a need to find my connection, wellbeing or happiness and when I felt the most open was finding my way to a specific ‘place’ – a sacred place to me was being in nature: walking through a forest, sitting by Georgian Bay or watching the stars. Today I still feel the need to find comfort in residing so close to the Lake and walking along it daily and by searching the skies. I don’t really live anywhere near a forest anymore although there are some lovely big old trees. I do feel claimed by both the water and the night skies (even under the light pollution of Toronto). We need to be reminded that there is something Bigger than ourselves available to us.

We need to be reminded that there is something Bigger than ourselves available to us – a sense of community and belonging

Once we feel ‘claimed’ and remind ourselves that we are connected and part of something bigger – a sense of community and belonging – then we can work on ‘claiming’ ourselves outwardly. The first place we are recommended to start is our ‘home’. Grandmother suggests that we first need to feel our ‘home’ is where we ‘nest’ and most of us tend to focus our energies on others and putting their needs before us. I know that is something I work with a lot and often in the past few years I have nested much more. This incoming year is important to ‘nest’ but not for hiding or healing, at least for me. I see this as a need to use our ‘home’ as a way to feel safe and to expand our ‘claiming’ of who we are. I was told in my recent interview with Lori and Grandmother that hibernation in my ‘home’ is necessary and I need to work on this ‘claiming’ by writing and enhancing my teaching abilities to assist each of you to recognize you are Divinely Unique. I like that because honestly I still need to feel my safe place is home. ‘Home’ to me is where the Heart lies and my actual home is where I live and work – so feeling safe in my ‘home’ is a must.

Next is our body – 2018 was a year where I focused on my health as I have had some challenges over the past few years – so I really wanted to feel better from within. I have been taking more responsibility over my health; I have witnessed how harmful some substances – that are socially acceptable like sugar and alcohol – are to our temples. I know that teaching about addictions may be a continuation of the teachings of my work as it relates to viewing how we distract ourselves and harm ourselves because we allow our fears to push us to seek something comforting when we are feeling emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually uncomfortable. Learning that our body is a temple and nourishing it is my new priority and now that it is working better I can definitely focus on nourishing it and honoring it as my inner home.

I can feel that the definition of ‘home’ seems to be a theme both personally and for 2019 as a whole. To ‘claim’ yourself or who you are requires knowing your ‘home’ – both physically as in where you live and also the ‘home’ within your body. What does ‘home’ mean to you? If our ‘home’ isn’t safe and nourishing then how can we fully stand up to ‘claim’ who we are? We need to unconditionally Love and Accept our Self, our inner and outer environment as well as the community within which we live. To fully Love and Accept we need to take responsibility for where we are before we can truly ‘know’ who we are. So ‘home’ will have a greater importance this year as we accept responsibility for what we choose to focus on doing. Claiming our Self will require nourishing and nurturing ‘Home’!

My hope for you this 2019 is for you to Claim your excellence and Divine Uniqueness within everything you do and to allow your ‘Home’ to shine brightly the Divine Essence that is all that You Are!

Focus 2019 shared by Lori and Grandmother offers two hours of valuable information which I highly recommend listening to so that you can determine what your focus will be. I will come to a deeper understanding of ‘home’ so that I can ‘claim’ my new focus of teaching. I will honor and nurture my inner and outer expression of Who I Am and step easily and Graciously into Radiating Unconditional Love and Acceptance while acknowledging the Divine within everything! My hope for you this 2019 is for you to Claim your excellence and Divine Uniqueness within everything you do and to allow your ‘Home’ to shine brightly the Divine Essence that is all that You Are!

From my Heart to Yours 

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged addictions, Divine Health, Happy New Year 2019, Home, Laurie Huston, Lori Wilson, Year of Claiming. Bookmark the permalink.

Addictions to Wholeness!

This month I became aware of a deeper message on addictions: a deeper core message that results in us rarely ever getting over them but usually just substituting one addiction for another. There is a reason for this that is outlined in Guy Finley’s book Breaking Dependencies which was recommended by Emmanuel Dagher.

Our addictions are what we create to fill a void. Of course the void is all illusion but while we are asleep – metaphorically – we don’t feel whole. Our addictions can be because we are a culture that doesn’t like to look at or feel discomfort of any kind so we use sugar, alcohol, drugs and any other activities to distract us from feeling uncomfortable. The discomfort stems from this emptiness we feel inside us. This void is pure illusion because we are ‘whole’ in our ‘spirit’! When it comes to why we feel we aren’t ‘whole’ it is because in our world love is conditional. This isn’t to blame anyone; it is just how this physical world works currently. We are here to evolve towards love, to make choices around love or fear. And when we feel we aren’t enough, that love is conditional, we believe that this is true. We don’t feel that our option is to choose love but to see fear in everything around us. And when that moment becomes our story, we choose an addiction to fill the emptiness that tells us we aren’t enough or we aren’t lovable as we are!

Addictions come in multiple forms: from what we ingest to help us feel pleasure, to creating co-dependent and dependent relationships. As infants we were completely dependent on our family and as we learned that love is conditional we developed strategies to help people love us. We create coping mechanisms that are ‘addictive’ ways to live in our world. What addiction we create is because we feel this emptiness inside us and our ego becomes formed and within our nature we tend to have the voice that tells us this piece of chocolate will fill the void (even if just temporarily) and the other voice that pushes against it that says we need to be strong and avoid the temptation because it is unhealthy. Unfortunately both voices are keeping our addictions occurring because even the voice that tells us to be strong is suggesting that we need to change or fix something within us. We choose addictions and dependencies to fill an emptiness that can’t be filled because the emptiness doesn’t exist: we are ‘whole’ and there is no piece of our spirit that isn’t complete. Sugar, alcohol, cigarettes, feeling that we need everyone to like us or judging others, is just filling a temporary emptiness that keeps us in a pattern that makes us believe we need to have outside things, outside approval, feeling superior over someone or pleasure to heal, fix, change something inside of us that will make us more complete! This need comes from our ego and unconscious nature – not our ‘true Self”.

Nothing we do outside or inside will make us complete until we ‘remember’ who we are! Who we are, has nothing to do with this physical world and its ability to make us whole. It comes from observing ourselves. We can only free ourselves when we hear, feel, see or know when something changes where we feel a craving to fill the emptiness or discomfort within us. Let’s look at an example in my life: I have been using both food (sugar and salty foods) and binge watching on Netflix or Streaming movies and series because I’m feeling an emptiness within me. When I look deeper it can come from suggestion while watching some movie or show or it is why I busy myself watching and get caught up which creates the unconscious pattern of either binge eating or watching Netflix. Looking even deeper I can acknowledge many of the behaviors I see as disempowering me coming from a similar unconscious ‘need’ to fill my time, because of loneliness, dis-ease, or a void within. I laugh at the absurdity of my nature thinking that food will even temporarily fill the void or that I can even convince myself that just one more time and I will never want it again because I will have filled that ‘need’. But then I can see the darker parts of me that constantly measure my worth against others. If I judge someone it is because I measured myself as superior in some way. I have done both: measured myself as superior and then seen someone as inferior and yet I still desire them to like and approve of me. And our desire to have everyone like us comes from the same emptiness. No matter how many people approve of us as long as there is one person who doesn’t our ego justifies its position to feel empty and not worthy.

And there is no outer or inner thing we can ‘do’ that will make our addictions go away. If we diet we are actually strengthening our resolve that there is indeed something wrong that we have to fix. And it will strengthen the ‘need’ to fill it with more food eventually – or just replace it with something else. We all know those people who become addicted to exercise after a diet; people who have to eat more after quitting smoking; or people who make a health choice to become vegetarian but judge everyone who isn’t. They just replaced one addiction with another!

We will only overcome our addictions – and there are many different kinds within each of us – when we can remember that we are not our bodies; that we choose a Loving Nature over fear; that our ‘infinite spirit’ resides within each of us; that we can let our ‘hearts’ lead our ‘heads’ and know that we are ‘whole’ and complete as we are! When we know we have certain tendencies that we want to change, we should observe that part of us that chooses to fill a void.

Feel the void! Give it a voice and then Remember you are Perfect and Whole just as you are! Remember that Light within you and Shine it out to the World!

See more at- https://www.intuitivesoul.com/
 
This entry was posted in Blog and tagged addictions, Clearing and Healing Techniques, clearing energy, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, News for the Heart, News for the Heart Radio, Wholeness.