Healing through Dreams & Synchronicities

Seems like an odd direction for my thought process this month … however as I was preparing for a 21 day healing event with Emmanuel Dagher and Ziad Hashash – where I had to come up with the direction for this healing opportunity – I uncovered a series of what could be seen as unrelated events that I will say were synchronistic guidance from my Divine guidance system that happens to work in very unique ways. It’s like putting together pieces of a puzzle – at least when it comes to me hearing my own guidance. When it comes to offering guidance to others I am much clearer and precise. With me I tend to need many things to convince myself or find the thread that may assist me to be guided in the right direction.

The early morning began with a dream. Typically my dreams are in a helping manner and my reason for going to an event in my dreams is to help someone else. However the two people I went with in my dream in the early morning did not receive the initiation. Instead: I did. In my dream it was with an old teacher who I left because I uncovered that he was working with some very dark energies. However in this dream the initiation was a very powerful one around opening my Goddess connection to Sacred Sexuality and in the dream the old teacher and I began dating. When I awoke from the dream I remember feeling overwhelmed with love and knew something powerful had occurred in the dream time as well as possibly a forgiveness of old hurts. Then I listened to both meditations from Ziad and Emmanuel and something in Ziad’s meditation began the process of trying to understand my current health issue and was supported with Emmanuel’s core work.

Since July of last year, I’ve had some issues with a molar and what I thought would be a simple cavity filling (3^rd time for this tooth) turned into a need for a root canal. However the infection never really went away so last Oct I had an infection that began to go septic and even though I did the ‘right’ things – antibiotics and antibiotic care then a series of holistic treatments to support my immune system – the abscess is still present. For some reason I had never looked up the significance of this tooth or asked my body what it needed.

So I finally did some research and found some fascinating information on teeth and root canals. One piece to the puzzle that I found was that this particular tooth was on never fitting in or feeling like an outsider. Now this didn’t become clearer until I began describing it in an interview I was doing with Jean Adrienne later that day. That’s when I realized that for the past couple of years I have been desiring a healthy relationship with someone I could share my life with. Given the dream that morning it clicked in place  that most of the men that I found – or found me – never really ‘got me’ and (wait for it)… unconsciously I felt like I couldn’t fit in. We strong, accomplished, spiritual teachers often intimidate men. So we look for strong men who are not easily intimidated by us to share our lives with.

However such men don’t tend to be in the Spiritual community. And once I find such men and they find out who I am they often get scared away. To me, obviously, I would rather be alone and happy (which I am) than compromise who I am. But there is obviously a belief that I have around relationships and not fitting into the ‘typical’ relationship. It is my belief and my story that creates this dilemma and not actually what is happening. I probably come off too strong in the beginning or don’t open up quick enough because I don’t trust that they will be able to accept who I am and I don’t trust that I am safe with them. So, my infection is confirming my belief that I don’t fit in. And the poor choices that I make show I am not quite as open as I had thought.

However, it doesn’t negate that I am happy the way I am right now. I have a successful home business doing everything I love! I set my own hours. I love where I live and the area I live in. I have the most precious gift in my newest kitten that has allowed me to open up differently. I honor my journey and do everything I can to heal my sacred wounds. I am truly happy. Yet I recognize when I sabotage different areas of my life and know that if I was truly ready and open I would be in a relationship!

My health has transformed over the past couple of years and now I only have a couple of areas that still require my attention – far fewer areas than 2 years ago. I also recognize that when it comes to one’s health you have to be very careful how you focus your attention! If there is pain you can’t heal it if that is where your attention goes. Which brings me back to relationships: if you still have outstanding beliefs (known or unknown) you won’t achieve what you desire most. I continued to put my attention on the areas that weren’t complete.

I am profoundly grateful to uncover an area that was unknown to me consciously which obviously my body was aware of. I recognize that everything works together to collaborate in this amazing journey we call life. I encourage you to challenge yourself to put the puzzle pieces of your life together and to celebrate the missing or broken pieces for those such pieces lead to greater awareness and opportunities of acceptance that allow us to see our wholeness and perfection. We truly are living in incredible times where we can see our Divinity and Wholeness as who we are. And I suspect that after my 21 days of healing I will see some beautiful changes within. Thank you Emmanuel and Ziad in advance for you have already gifted me with so much!

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Resistance blocks JOY

This month a series of events allowed me to become aware when I was in resistance and therefore blocking the flow of universal love and joy. I participated in Emmanuel Dagher’s Core Attunements that discussed Evolved Wealth where he discussed service and tithing, which brought up some resistance and resistance was the purpose of the meditation. I had to observe what was being triggered, which was partially caused by my understanding of the biblical implications of ‘tithing’ and also my fear around not being open to this offering of love. I wasn’t really clear what ‘tithing’ meant to me. However, Emmanuel clarified that our giving of time is also tithing and that prior to us accepting financial compensation our time was and still is an acceptable form of tithing. However I had resistance to this. I knew how I freely offered my time but did I openly offer a percentage of my time and/or money to service the world? Do I have an expectation of personal gain when I write my blogs or offer my radio/YouTube interviews? Or do I do this as well as other services to unconditionally ‘gift’ the world and make it a better place?

The other resistance that came up for me was around abandonment. This past 10 days my boy Jasper got frightened over a raccoon that, to Jasper, threatened his territory. Cats are extremely territorial! It took too long to get this raccoon out of the house: 30 minutes of screaming and using a broom handle to scare the unscarable (not a pretty sigh). This created a huge amount of anxiety – of which I had never seen – in my beautiful, loving boy Jasper. He no longer felt safe in his own home. And when he wasn’t coming home to sleep, it triggered my abandonment issues. I kept focusing on the pain of Jasper not coming home and taking it personally. I was in resistance again.

So these two unnerving experiences – around tithing and abandonment – allowed me to be open to a new book being released by Gabby Bernstein “The Universe Has Your Back!´ as well as Gabby’s video The Art of Manifesting: 5 Secrets to Attracting What You Want Video Workshop. Combined with Emmanuel’s meditations I was able to begin to see some important pieces to how I fall into resistance and block what the universe is waiting to offer. The 2^nd experience was far more important to me as I was observing a core belief: abandonment. Abandonment, as most of you know, is something I have been working on all my life. What I had to realize was regardless of what was happening to Jasper it did not have anything to do with him abandoning me. However, my focus on how I was feeling and the emptiness that it was reflecting or the pain of abandonment, it was that feeling that was keeping me in resistance to being open to shifting my focus on what I wanted.

The problem for most of us is that we have a goal and instead of keeping our vibration on what we want – so that the Universal Flow of love, joy, peace or consciousness can bring around this possibility – we instead focus on the lack, the opposite of what we want or the absence of what we want. As soon as we even say what we ‘want’ we are often already thinking of it because of what we don’t want! We want to lose weight, but we continually focus on the weight we want to lose, measuring and weighing ourselves instead of having a clear picture of what we want and not worrying about how it comes about. We want financial security but we worry about our bills. We want health and well-being but we focus on the pain or on what isn’t working. Do you see the flaw there? The Universal flow of Love, Joy and Well-being exist at all times and we receive exactly what we are asking for at any given time. However, what we are asking for is usually the opposite of what we want.

If you are experiencing anything you don’t want it won’t change unless you shift your focus from that to allowing and receiving this flow of Love, Joy and Well-being.

I knew Jasper was teaching me a very important lesson and I couldn’t easily allow him to make his own choices if I was stuck in thinking this was about me being abandoned. He couldn’t heal his safety issues if I was stuck in my own. He needed space to heal but I could only focus on the pain I was experiencing. Just like the fear of believing I wasn’t making a difference by unconditionally serving and tithing.

When our fears get triggered we fall back into patterns that keep everything stuck. I knew these were my issues and that if I couldn’t shift out of them I would continue the patterns.

Unfortunately, I completely believed that Jasper was fully on the road to recovery, only to discover that he had far serious conditions. I dedicated a blog to Jasper, which you can read here. I only hope that I have the strength to remember the love he shared with me over these years as a true blessing and not get triggered by my abandonment issues.

So, how do we open ourselves to the resistance so we can shift back into the Infinite Flow of Love, Joy and Well-being? We have to move out of linear time. We have to shift into the Now moment where we aren’t focused on our past triggers or our worries about the future. The Now moment will allow us to connect with our Divine Spark, our True Essence of BEing. Our truth lies within us and we can choose – when we are consciously in the Now moment – whether we want Fear or Love! It’s only when we are in the ever present moment that we can even observe what we are feeling instead of being lost in our minds, lost in either the past or the future. Once we are aware we can then make a choice. We can step out of our pain and fear and overcome our resistance as we step into our true essence with the power to receive LOVE and to know JOY!

 See more at - https://www.intuitivesoul.com