In Fear We Trust

After my retreat with Tom Campbell this past January I wrote that I was inspired to write a book and this is the beginning of that book. The working title, In Fear We Trust, came to me because even though we like to deny it our fears are what we put our trust in. When we discuss fears we like to pretend we are discussing phobias and that most of us don’t believe we have major phobias and therefore we don’t believe we have fears. However, as we are a part of this time and place I am going to suggest that we all have fears and these fears rule our lives. Follow me in this. If we didn’t have fears our Soul or Individuated Consciousness would never know to Evolve or Grow Up. Our Core fears like abandonment, unworthiness, unlovableness, failure, loss and the unknown push us to Evolve.

Let’s start with a definition of ‘fear’. Our dictionaries define ‘fear’ something like: “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.” This is accurate – however it doesn’t explain that our fears are what we chose to work through in this life to assist us in growing. It doesn’t explain that our core fears are governing how we live our life. We think we are a victim to circumstances beyond our control when in fact our ‘victimhood’ is merely those deeper fears such as abandonment/BEing alone, unworthiness, unlovableness, failure, loss – including everything mixed up around ‘death’, and the unknown. These fears, these deeper fears, create disharmony within us – pushing us and our emotions to our limits, seemingly – in such a way that we try to distract ourselves to make our lives bearable and maybe to make it seem like we even have everything within our control.

Our emotions are just our mind/ego’s way of distracting us from our deeper core fears that our unconscious believes are too painful. Our ego uses distractions so that we don’t get too caught up in our emotional state that we become overwhelmed by our fears. We have learned that when our emotions are too powerful we shut down through distracting ourselves from our fears, by using … addiction. We use different addictions to cope: alcohol, sugar, drugs, sex, binge watching TV or Netflix, and other socially acceptable or unacceptable activities.

What’s more disturbing is that it is through our fears that we “feel” and trust more than the Truth: the Truth that we are Infinite Beings with unfathomable abilities and consciousness.

Our fears are what we trust because we don’t feel worthy, lovable, successful, Infinite or ‘Tapped into the Higher Consciousness of Source’. Instead we allow our fears to guide us, our Ego to determine how to live our life. Our Ego needs to feel in control; however, our fears make our Ego feel out of control; so our Ego pretends that it is in control and that it has no fears.  However, these fears have been with us all of our lives and even distracting behavior created from these fears and they are solidly in place by the time we hit the age of 7.

In its own way our ego believes it is helping us with our overwhelming fears through emotions that trigger reactions to distract us from the pain our fears create.

Our emotions distract us from the core fear we are working towards – or perhaps the core fear we SHOULD be working towards – facing. We literally don’t see or feel our fears because we have created years of mechanisms of coping with our fears, mechanisms designed to distract ourselves from feeling the power of these debilitating fears … or the powerlessness we feel when a core fear is triggered.

Our ego makes us believe that we are in control of our lives and that we are making the best choices for living our lives. However instead of being in control and making the best choices our ego also makes us powerless to face our fears because the ego has distracted us to the point where our deepest fears are hidden beneath our behaviors and it is these behaviors that distract us from actually feeling our fears.

For example: having a core fear around abandonment or Being alone will trigger an emotion that has been packaged in a box called “abandonment” – but it shows up as depression, sadness or anger and then as soon as we feel the powerlessness of Being Abandoned we distract ourselves through the emotions of depression, sadness or anger – and because abandonment – or the emotions we distract the feelings of abandonment with – feels so uncomfortable we will find an addiction that will hold the uncomfortable emotions (anger, sadness or depression) that are actually a distraction and we distract ourselves with yet another distraction like reading, eating comfort foods, or even exercise that shift the discomfort which has been an even further distraction from the ‘real’ fear of abandonment. See how that works? A pattern has been created to not only distract us but to completely confuse us on what is really happening and to draw us further away from the ‘core fear’ that we chose at a spiritual level to work through so that we could grow. Growing up becomes much more convoluted with all the ways in which we have chosen to distract ourselves.

What a confusing mess we create! It’s no wonder we feel we don’t have fears – because they are so hidden by first emotions and then behaviors.

Phew – do you understand how incredible we really are? Our ego has discovered ways to push our “growth”, our Spiritual Enlightenment, away by focusing on something else so that we won’t feel the impact of our core fears because our ego believes they are too powerful and we couldn’t possibly work through and make the choices that would empower and enlighten us by facing our core fears. In its own way our ego believes it is helping us with our overwhelming fears through emotions that trigger reactions to distract us from the pain our fears create.

It’s confusing just to try and explain the kind of protection mechanism of the ego – yet the ego doesn’t really protect us at our core – and knowing this is important because overcoming the false protection is the reason we are here – we are here to Evolve and Grow Up. To do that we must become aware of the fears that govern our lives. We must not only recognize the fears but to recognize the addictions we use as distractions – and then to recognize the emotions that try to hide the core fear and then, if all this isn’t enough, we need to recognize the behaviors we use as distractions to keep from feeling uncomfortable. What a confusing mess we create! It’s no wonder we feel we don’t have fears – because they are so hidden by first emotions and then behaviors.

The key to our growing up is:

• To BE conscious of the choices we are making and to refrain from making unconscious reactions to our feeling uncomfortable.

• To BEcome conscious of all choices we make – instead of living on automatic default.

• To BE aware of our emotions and the attempts we make to distract ourselves.

• And to Remember that we are Perfect Right NOW! We don’t need to change – but rather just become Conscious of what we are doing right now.

This isn’t easy work. However it can be an opportunity to expand our consciousness and connect into the Infinite Love, Acceptance and Joy that is within us at all times. It allows us the opportunity to face the fears we chose in order to Grow Up and uncover the Truth and Inner Being that is really who we are! Join me on this incredible journey Home. Instead of In Fear We Trust – Let’s change it to In Love We Trust!

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged Conscious Choices, Conscious Evolution, consciousness, In Fear We Trust, Laurie Huston, Love and Acceptance, love vs fear, Tom Campbell. Bookmark the permalink.

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Growing Up Through our Fears

As most of you know I went to an Immersive with Tom Campbell last month and then spent my birthday in Paris. I knew this event would change my life and it has. I didn’t know what to expect – even after interviewing Tom for the past decade and sharing his practical knowledge on how to Grow-up and Surrender our fears – so I was seemingly not prepared for 5 days in a castle under his tutelage. Tom is unsuspecting and truly walks his talk. His unconditional compassion and love allowed us all to feel safe while exploring what he calls the Larger Consciousness System. Those of us without a physics background who see things from a spiritual perspective would probably refer to this as connecting in with the Akashic records or our Sacred Space with our Higher Self for guidance. We spent hours meditating each day and we could do it in the luxury of our rooms – since Donna and Keith (his incredible event coordinators) rented out an entire castle – we didn’t have to worry about having to explain ourselves. We also had exercises instead of chanting the “Om” mantra for an hour each time. We used binaural beats to help us focus on our exercises – that ranged from communication to past lives and future probabilities, to healing and remote viewing.

The benefits of a large group – of like-Hearted people – collecting together for days and sharing our experiences – change us.

We never fully comprehend the impact of when we immerse ourselves in a group of like-minded and like-hearted people while also using meditation to Grow our Consciousness. The benefits of a large group collecting together for days and sharing our experiences change us. This is especially true for me since I have for several years been on a healing journey in seclusion – needing to feel safe and protected while I worked through some challenging times. I’ve needed to hibernate and my journey has gone through many cycles during this time. I would come out to test the waters only to fall back when my sensitivities would become overwhelmed again. I created a beautiful oasis where I could feel safe while also healing and expanding my business. It was a win-win for me. I also knew that this trip would change that for me. And it has in many ways. 

I discovered that while I’m in my element – even in a group – I laugh more (which isn’t such a stretch) but I also engage more with others to invoke laughter – however I often use sarcasm or dry wit to do it. I think with hibernating for so long I forgot what I was like in a group environment. It was something I needed to remember! Being with like-hearted people helps you feel safe to BE yourself.  

I received a lot of incredible guidance from unexpected sources – like when I wanted to communicate with my shy kitten who was having some challenges while I was away – Angel was staying next door with her sister but wasn’t eating a lot in the first few days. When I used our communication exercise to connect with my girl – I was greeted by my sweet boy Jasper who explained why he had to leave so suddenly (2 years earlier) and why having a Persian, Angel, was to help me take better care of myself. She is very high maintenance and if gone without care for a couple of days her fur will get all bunched up in mats – she was to inspire me to take better of care for myself.  

I was shown in meditation information on my next book that I am to write this year; a book all about our fears – a common theme with my writings especially with Tom! This will require me to focus my energy on writing more – something I haven’t been doing enough of. Writing my Blog every month requires focus that I don’t always adhere to. Sometimes it just feels like a chore. Don’t get me wrong – I love writing: it helps me Grow and absorb my thoughts – but I require a deadline to motivate me usually. So now I guess I will have to create some deadlines to motivate me to write chapters instead of Blogs – however I have a feeling they may overlap a bit. At least they will guide me in each chapter. 

I can’t say enough about immersing yourself completely in a retreat for 5 days (especially a castle in northern England) – meeting like-hearted people who share experiences and build connections. It is incredibly rewarding. I had met several people through Tom prior to attending this Immersive but a group of almost 100 people expands your growth exponentially. And it was great to meet people from all over the world – coming together with a common goal of Growing. 

However my growing didn’t stop there – Paris was Magical. It also changed my solar return chart in surprising ways. I had always read that if you want to shift up your world it is always good to be somewhere else for your birthday. Paris provided me with some big changes – where my rising sign here in Toronto is Cancer – for this year it is Capricorn. Those two signs are very different. Cancer as a rising sign explains why I like to hibernate and make my home a safe place. Capricorn on the other hand will shift my focus to my career and creating more security financially. It will help me focus on my writing – I hope. 

What dreams are you waiting for? Growth happens when we push ourselves to overcome our fears.

What is Stopping YOU?

Paris was indeed a Magical place filled with beautiful architecture and a loving energy. I met new and old acquaintances and a dear friend on my birthday – it was very special! The whole trip got me out of my comfort zone and reminded me about my dreams. We all have dreams that we put on hold because we are driven to do ‘other’ things – to try to make money, to try to create healthy relationships, to try and be a good and conscientious person – but dreaming our heartfelt lives into existence, taking our dreams out of the ‘holding’ zone, is this not our real work – how to really live a life worth living? Are we perhaps afraid to Dream the new into existence? What dreams are you waiting for? Growth happens when we push ourselves to overcome our fears. So is it fear that holds us back from growing, from changing? Are there fears we aren’t facing? Could we actually be afraid of how our dreams could change our lives and help us grow? So what about facing our fears of change, of growth, and surrendering to who we are so that we can BE all that we can BE? What is stopping us? Let’s grow

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged Growing Up, Growing Up through our Fears, Immersive, Laurie Huston, love vs fear, meditation, News for the Heart, News for the Heart Radio, solar return, Tom Campbell, What is Stopping You. 

Experiences don’t create our beliefs… Our beliefs create our experiences!

We often live with the expectation that our experiences seem to dictate our beliefs; that everything that ‘happens’ to us creates, proves or justifies what we believe about the world. However, it is what we believe that is creating our experiences and until we accept this, until we look at the underlying belief we have about our experiences, we continue to add energy to our story that our beliefs are justified because of our experience. We get caught in a loop of justifying to the world why these things keep happening to us and reliving all the experiences that validate what we feel, but we are just adding to this energy to recreate more of the experiences we have.

Does this make sense?

I had a belief about fairness in this world, that it is unfair, and the world would prove this through my experiences – including the betrayals that I perceived ‘happened to me’. However the truth is I believed (like many if not all of us do) that I am separate from God as in: God is there; I am here. Therefore I felt separate and alone so I would experience abandonment. And usually some of the bigger experiences of abandonment would include betrayal. I would relive all the abandonment experiences because I had to prove that the world was unjust, scary and unfair, and continue to build on this, my story.

Ultimately what needed to change was for me to understand the underlying fear of separation that led to me believing the world wasn’t safe and, instead, to find Trust and Faith in God/Source/Universe. Learning to trust wasn’t about the ‘other’ person abandoning or betraying me because the outside influence couldn’t really change – or my perception of the outside couldn’t change – until I could identify from a Soul level who I was and then to change or accept what I was believing within me first. Who I was needed to come from a Soul level. I needed to identify the underlying message my Soul had been guiding me towards.

The amazing piece of this is that my Soul has been guiding me through my beliefs, through my perceptions of my experiences, and through my understanding of who I am at a Soul level. My Soul has been reminding me that everything is in Divine Order and everything is perfect for our Soul’s growth. This means that every false belief, every perceived heartache, is pushing us towards our Soul’s Purpose.

We are like this giant jigsaw puzzle, every experience, every choice, every trigger, and everything that happens and that we react to, is our Soul guiding us to grow and allowing us to align from the inside, to connect to our ‘pure essence’, and to remember who we are. Nothing that happens is a mistake! Isn’t that amazing? Our Soul is guiding us every step on this journey – even when we feel very disconnected and separate. It is all part of the ‘bigger plan’ that we set up to assist us to remember.

However, we still need to piece all the jigsaw together to get a clear picture of what we believe and this sometimes seems a little difficult because when we hurt we are pushed towards making the pain stop and this is so commonly done through distracting ourselves with any one of our many addictions: TV, alcohol, drugs, sex, food etc. These distractions do not really clear anything  up  but rather they often create more struggle and pain until we can pay attention to our Soul guiding us.

It is unfortunate that we only grow through struggle and pain – and of course even that is a choice. In fact the more awake we become the less struggle and pain we need to remind ourselves and the more we connect with our Divine Essence, the less time it takes to embrace who we are.

So how do we navigate through our beliefs to uncover our Truth? We all kind of accept the theory that we are all One that we come from Source that everything is energy – including ourselves, and that ultimately we all came from Source. So, when we come up against a belief like the one in which we are always ‘abandoned’ and have all these experiences to prove it, then we should know this isn’t ‘truth’!

So if that is the case – and you can accept this basic concept: that we all come from Source – then the error must lie within, not outside ourselves. Source, after all, wouldn’t make us or anyone else imperfect, nor are we victims to these outside beliefs. Therefore it is probably within the aspect of us that is man-made, our Ego, not our Soul. It is our fears, that come from our Ego, that block us from seeing our truth. It is the Ego that insists on analyzing, fixing, changing everyone and everything outside of ourselves and if we are completely unable to do this we often then blame everything on ourselves – sometimes after we have failed at blaming everything on those people and things outside of ourselves. So when we blame things on ourselves, it’s an inside belief that we aren’t good enough to be loved, aren’t worthy or some similar belief around feeling separate and alone in the world!

It is the Ego that tries to make everything that is happening in our world as happening to “us”, because our Ego has personalized it. But these are not ‘truth’: things that happen are not actually happening to us, they just happen. We give them the power to affect us and we view them in a certain light based on what we believe. We create our experiences from our Beliefs.

It is our Soul’s gift to guide us by shining the light on what we are here to BE. And our tests come from how we define our experiences. An example is my perception of betrayal that is really helping me understand my issue of ‘safety’ and ‘trust’. I needed to experience all this abandonment and betrayal for me to come into alignment with my Soul’s guidance – knowing that my Soul will always guide me towards my path of BEing. So no matter what happens my Soul is safe and I can trust that all is in Divine Order. Even my recent discomforts with my health have been to remind me that this journey isn’t to change what happens but to embrace what I have been learning and give it a voice. This journey here is to connect with that Infinite knowledge and Bliss within me and to share it with the world – in whatever capacity that looks like. It is my constant desire to connect within that brings me to a state of expansion and LOVE. It reminds me of the exuberance I AM! It has allowed me to uncover deeper gifts and a feeling of BEing with my Soul.

I invite you to listen to all the beliefs you have and uncover the Magic that lies within when you can connect and are gently guided towards your own unique Soul’s Purpose, the Essence of YOU! Your Soul is guiding you to become Who you are, and assists you to create your own inner beliefs so you can embrace your experiences with an Open Heart.

Beliefs, Beliefs create Expectations, Clearing and Healing Techniques, clearing energy, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, love vs fear, Soul's Purpose.

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