Happiness – Consciousness of Relationships

This month I really didn’t know where I wanted to go with my Blog nor my interview on Apr 25^th with Tom Campbell. However I had a few areas that were showing up within my readings with different authors who’s interviews are coming up (like Paul Selig – should be a fabulous interview in June) and from my interactions with some of my followers. So I had my interview with Tom and things really flowed during our interview around ‘happiness’ and ‘conscious relationships’.

The issues that were arising were around our relationships and how we continue to justify our fears by looking at the ‘other’ instead of understanding that we are responsible for everything that happens in our lives. We continue to worry, get angry, and justify our reactions because of someone else. It isn’t easy to authentically see that our ‘unhappiness’ is not because of someone else but because we have a fear that makes us feel insecure, unheard, insignificant or abandoned. It appears clear to us that these people or things that happen are why we are unhappy and we don’t remember that every event is really an opportunity for our own growth. Every time we have a negative response (or even a positive response) we are adding to our story of our lives. We are creating the definition that we have actualized as our identity. We want to blame our unhappiness on someone or something or believe we will only be happy when we can ensure that everyone else is doing what we need them to do. So we justify feeling unhappy because someone or thing has made us unhappy.

If we knew that the Larger Consciousness System (Tom’s wording for Higher Consciousness) is here to help us to grow. If we knew that everything has a purpose in our lives to help us grow towards ‘love’ then is it possible to allow all of these experiences to be ‘seen’ as opportunities to let go of our fears? And these experiences are also to acknowledge that no matter what happens the other person is truly being the ‘best’ they can BE and that they are not doing something to hurt us or create anxiety or pain in our lives. Rather it is our own perceptions that create the pain and unhappiness in our lives. It is our own Ego that needs to justify these experiences because it needs to be ‘right’ instead of happy.

We are ‘infinite Divine Beings’ that are having a human experience to Evolve our Consciousness towards Love. We grow when we are ‘relating with others’ and it is only when we can let go of this need to blame or accept the ‘story’ of our lives as a victim can we truly step out of our patterns of fear being perceived by us. If we truly desire to ‘grow up’ and get out of the pain and unhappiness we have established as who we are then we have to begin accepting unconditionally that the pain and unhappiness isn’t coming from events or others but from our own fears within; our own beliefs and our own story of who we believe we are!

We have just forgotten who we are. We aren’t our fears. We aren’t this ego identity that we ‘believe’ is who we are. We are not just a child, parent, spouse, an education or an occupation etc. that we think about when someone asks us who we are or what we do. We are a ‘Divine Being’ who has chosen to incarnate as a Human Being to evolve towards love. We are not separate yet we have individuated consciousness to ‘Remember’ who we are and to choose to expand our consciousness towards unconditional acceptance and love of Self and ‘others’. We are more than our experiences and our fears.

Our relationships are our mirrors to understand our own consciousness. We are allowing our stories to trigger and dictate our unhappiness and add this unhappiness to our story with all the “what’s and why’s” that the ‘other’ person does to hurt us, instead of working on changing OUR story and changing our fears that create our story and unhappiness.

Instead we focus on each situation as a separate event that continues to justify our ‘story’: reappearing as a pattern. This belief we hold about who we are is just a fabrication that confirms our fears. Let me give an example: a person we have a relationship with says something that triggers us, out of their own fear they say something that makes us believe they are betraying us, abandoning us or alluding to the fact that we aren’t significant enough to… (you fill in the blank). It may be a fear that someone isn’t being honest and upfront with you, or maybe someone is appearing aloof and distant, like they don’t care. The ‘mirror’ we are meant to understand is that this is ‘our’ fear and we haven’t shifted it if we can still justify BEing unhappy or blaming another. We instead just take this experience and add it to our ever increasing ‘story’ of who we believe we are.

So how does this relate to ‘Happiness’? Well, like everything in this life, we tend to focus on what we don’t want instead of BEing happy inside or allowing our Divine Essence to express itself, we are allowing our fears to continue to dictate our story; our unhappiness. We can’t seek ‘happiness’, it has to BEcome our intention to Evolve towards Love. It is only through our intention to grow that we will uncover that our ‘happiness’ has been here all along. We have the ‘choice’ to examine our fears and accept these fears as opportunities to mature and BEcome the Love that we already are. Our ‘happiness’ isn’t something that is ‘out’ there, but it is who we are as Divine Beings.

Learning through our relationships: having conscious experiences when our fears present themselves are the only way we can experience conscious relationships, experience Love and remember who we are. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to BE happy and have conscious relationships. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to NOT see the Divine within and experiencing more compassion and acceptance (even when I have epic failures) with mySelf. Let’s choose to initiate these changes by remembering who we are; Divine Beings having a human experience.

See more at- https://www.intuitivesoul.com/happiness-consciousness-of-relationships

 

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged conscious relationships, Consciousness of Relationships, evolving our consciousness, Happiness, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, love vs fear, News for the Heart, News for the Heart Radio, Paul Selig, Relationship Advice, Tom Campbell..

Love is…

I like to term February as Love Month, but what happens more often than not is that we think about what is Not Love. What do I mean by this? We think about love in February because of Valentine’s Day, which means we are thinking about ‘romantic love’. And most of our definitions of romantic love are constructs of love dictated to us through the use of media and our experiences from our childhood that defined love. Both of these ‘ideals’ are inaccurate and often have nothing to do with love at all, but are rather a reflection of our needs and wants in a relationship. Which is to say; that ‘love’ is what we feel we need reflected back to us through our significant ‘other’ or from any intimate relationship. We are actually ‘in love’ with an ideal of what we believe we can receive from another.

We tend to search for ‘love’ to be reflected back to us in all the wrong places hoping for our ‘ideal’ and then settling for not being alone. But what are we actually searching for?

We are searching for someone to meet our ‘needs’, our conditional expectations that we have set and we have often come with a list of these needs. Yet the only way we can actually have these needs met would be if we met them ourselves.

We ask for physical descriptions, romantic notions, and worse: we ask for the very things we are lacking within ourselves. An example of this would be after experiencing a long list of men who had commitment phobias we want someone who is committed to us. A worthy goal. However, if we have had a pattern of men (or women) who couldn’t commit to us, it is more likely that we have the commitment issue and our partners are just mirroring it back to us. And why would we do this to ourselves?  It may be that we do not feel safe in relationships and therefore choose men who can’t commit!

However, this doesn’t mean that our mirrors are exact replicas; rather it means if someone lacks commitment we attracted them or requested a ‘soul’ contract so that we can learn something about our Soul’s path. When we don’t learn it, we get more opportunities to open us up to the learning our Soul’s choice for us. It may not be commitment that is our issue. It may be self-confidence or it may be that we are learning to love ourselves and in both of these cases having someone with a commitment phobia would be perfect. And something as ‘big’ as self-confidence or self-love would take life times to learn.

The point I’m making is that our definition of “love” is often based on an unreliable source, whether it is [1] a romantic sentiment created through our media culture that is an imaginary ideal that has no truth or authenticity as it is a fantasy that has nothing to do with love; or [2] our definition comes from our experiences of love, often based on our childhood and the patterns we have been repeating since then.

Love isn’t about meeting our ideals or giving us what we need or believe we need, like more romance, safety, commitment or “characteristics” that we often desire in a mate. Love is our ability to share, to give unconditionally, to accept a person for who they are and to take our needs out of the picture. Love is about the other person. Love is about letting go of all of our fears, beliefs and idiosyncrasies that we often blame ‘others’ for and about taking responsibility for all of who we are so that we can love others as well as ourselves. Love is knowing who we are and expressing this to another. Love is infinite without conditions, judgments, fear or resistance. Love is!

And lastly, our search for love has a motivation that we need to identify and understand so that we know what we are attracting and what our Soul’s purpose is. Our Soul in its infinite wisdom chose this life and all the circumstances that have occurred in our life to assist us to know love. All of our relationships are steering us towards our purpose. As I have said many times, relationships are what help us grow the most on this journey. Since we are moving towards love our relationships are all teaching us something about our purpose. So if we could view all of our relationships as a message instead of failure and look at what they are showing us from a ‘bigger picture’ we would be able to have a glimpse of this purpose.

What is our motivation for desiring a healthy relationship (either new or getting a current one back on track)? What are the fears that motivate us to desire love? What hasn’t worked in the past? And what do we feel we have learned through all of our relationships? These are all messages our Soul has designed to move us towards who we are and for the quest for Love to take us to all the right places.

I invite you to take some time this month and examine your choices and desires towards love. Know that everything is perfect for you to grow towards who you are and to express Love in its infinite wisdom. Love is something you share and give to the world. Find a way to express it and Love will find you!

See more at - http://www.intuitivesoul.com 

Clearing and Healing Techniques, clearing energy, conscious relationships, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, Love month, Nuclear Physicist, Relationship Advice, Tom Campbell