From Me to Unconditional Love and Acceptance

This past month I have been very aware and focused on something that I have been discussing with Tom Campbell (and others) and writing about for the past couple of years: How to come from a place of unconditional love and acceptance. We often are too focused on how others affect us or when something happens; we unconsciously look at how it impacts us. An example would be when interacting in a relationship and there is a conflict we automatically look at what this conflict means to us. We take whatever the conflict is personally and we react personally and this means we react from a place of ego. We allow what is happening to trigger us emotionally and we perceive it from a pattern that has created a story in our lives.

Let’s give this even more meaning and look at it from a pattern of abandonment as this is a trigger most people understand. So we are engaged in a conversation with another person – and this could be any relationship although an intimate relationship often has more of a charge to it – and one of us gets triggered first and that often leads to the other person also getting triggered. Now we first have to understand that both of us have grown up having different experiences which leads to having different triggers and that leads to having different stories that we have created. Our experiences define our lives by the age of seven. By the age of seven we do not have an emotional understanding of our experiences and we don’t consciously understand what is happening to us. However our brain likes to clump our experiences together so that our ego can protect us from being hurt. Let’s understand that by the age of seven nothing is fully processed and our pain and fears are very uncomfortable. We make assumptions and beliefs from these experiences and this leads to a story being created around abandonment that may not even make logical sense at this later point in our lives. However this experience continues to trigger us because since the age of seven we have had plenty of experiences that have been clumped together that have added to our understanding of abandonment. We have had friends, family,  partners and co-workers and others leave us in some way that we have interpreted as abandonment – even when it is just an interpretation or perception that they have left ‘us’.

Now, moving forward 20, 30, 40, or 50 years and we engage in a relationship that is triggering someone else or still triggering ourselves. We unconsciously interpret it as abandonment. We get triggered or we trigger someone else who then triggers us and we react. We react the same way as we did when we were seven. We might not have a temper tantrum like we did when we were two but the emotional impact, the emotional charge, is the same. We perceive this as something happening to us personally. We experience this event as the same ‘story’ we have created and we react mostly unconsciously from a place where this hurts. We react!

If we are on a path that is evolving towards love this requires us to not take anything personally – especially things that impact us negatively – but rather for us to move into a place of unconditional love and acceptance.  To evolve towards love we must consciously understand and see when we want to first react and then, instead, take charge of our personal view of the situation. We want to become aware of our emotions. When we are with another and we are sharing a conversation with that person or even sharing space and they get upset we typically go into survival mode and our ego looks to justify, blame or judge who is right or wrong. When someone does something we don’t like or want, we automatically add this experience to our story and our ego is in charge. We have to understand that every single person has their own story that was created by the age of seven. Everyone has their own issues, their own ego, their own pain, fear and suffering that is ‘real’ to them.

We have to be able to ‘see’ our automatic reactions as what they are. Then we have to be able to ‘see’ the person in front of us as also having an automatic reaction. And this is where it gets interesting; this is when we can make a choice. The first choice is: do I come from a place of ‘me’ and how is this affecting me? Do I automatically justify, blame and/or judge this situation or person as abandoning me? Do I add this to my story of abandonment? Or can I step outside of my initial response and make another choice? Can I then look from a place of ‘other’ and see that no matter what is said or done that this person actually believes they are trying to persevere through their pain and their own abandonment story? They are trying to do what is ‘right’ for them and it is just ‘their’ story when they get triggered. They are justifying, blaming and judging the situation based on their own experiences and story created by the age of seven.

On this path towards evolving towards love we can become more conscious by knowing that whenever we are triggered or feeling uncomfortable that this is just a reaction to a story or experience we had in the past. Then we can really ‘see’ and hold space for another while we are with them. We can create a safe space of consciousness and acknowledge that when someone reacts it really has nothing to do with us and instead of reacting to our emotions, we can allow those emotions to get provoked without our reactions or these emotions getting in the way. We can learn a great deal about the other person when we don’t go into reaction mode with them. We can change our story and stop or heal our unconscious reactions. Plus, once we can hold space and BE from a place of consciousness we can see the “other’s” fears and triggers. We can sit with them and not feel our own pain and fear. We can stop the pattern or our reactions and come from a place of ‘truth’ as we understand that both the pattern and/or our reactions are triggered and our reaction and the other person’s reactions are not rational but from a perspective of a young child who doesn’t understand. This gives space for everyone to come from an authentic place and not automatically react. It offers a ‘safe’ place, something that not everyone has experience with. Let’s give them a safe place. It will be good for all of us.

My focus on choosing not to be triggered by myself or others this month was a wonderful opportunity for me to understand this concept from a place of expansion and awareness. It was an opportunity for me to see how others can get triggered because they are only coming from a ‘me’ place. These experiences have allowed me to quiet my anxiety and quietly hold authentic space for another person to BE and for me to see the bigger picture and move towards my evolution towards Love!  You may want to take this upcoming month and focus on the same thing and see how your understanding can expand. Perhaps creating a ‘trigger journal’ where you write down every day what has triggered you and see if you can chose to not get embroiled in the emotion but rather observe it and see it from a perspective of unconditional love and acceptance. Happy Awareness!

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This entry was posted in Blog and tagged Authentic Love, BEing in Charge of Emotions, Clearing and Healing Techniques, clearing energy, Divine Love, ego, fear vs love, Intuitive Counseling, intuitive counselor, Laurie Huston, ME mentality, our stories, Perceptions, Tom Campbell, triggers, Unconditional Love and Acceptance.

Can you tell the difference between fear and your gut intuition?

With Halloween just finished, I have been contemplating fear and intuition. We know that science has proven the existence of a neural network or brain associated with our gut. Gut intuition is about perseverance. Our gut will warn us when it needs to protect us. Our heart brain is all about love and compassion and our head brain can be quite creative. So our intuition here is often clear, because it has to do with love and acceptance or showing us some creative solutions to problems. However, when you get that feeling in your gut, how do you tell the difference between fear and intuition?

I have an example of just this, when I made an appointment last week for my muscle activation guru Josh Young. I set up an appointment earlier in the week and wasn’t thinking about the date when I made it. I also had a healing done prior that created a great deal of need to relax and re-energize for a few days. What day did I make the appointment for, you ask? Mercury has been retrograde since Oct 3^rd and we were in between 2 eclipses. Just as we were scheduled for our solar eclipse on Oct 23^rd and mercury was about to go direct on the 25^th, I booked an appointment for, yep you guessed it the 23^rd! Mercury is always worst right before and during when it goes retrograde and when it goes direct, throw in the solar eclipse and… BOOM!

The day of the 22^nd I considered cancelling my appointment because I wasn’t feeling very energetic. I wasn’t sure if it was my physical condition, my intuition or just apathy that was having me reconsider. When the day arrived, I still felt quite awful and my intuition was nudging me to cancel. However, I decided that my health was a priority and I was going ahead. Also, my phone only had 28% battery charge, even though this should last me half a day; I ignored my intuition again when I kept getting I should charge it before I left.

I took the subway there, as it was a pretty good route, but I planned to take advantage of my newly acquired membership with a car share program (car2go), for the way home. I knew after the treatment, I would just want to get home as quickly as I could to relax and rejuvenate, so I reserved the car in my area. After my appointment the car wasn’t where it was supposed to be. I spent 10-15 minutes trying to locate it, I found one in a different spot 5 levels lower but I couldn’t activate it (it was out of service). I called the company and spent a 15-20 minutes talking with them while trying to locate the car. As soon as I was back at the entrance, my intuition did tell me where it was; there was a lot across the street that although wasn’t a Green P parking lot, had a green sign and a green P in the sign. I got cut off from the company while exploring where the car was, as we were going further and further underground. I did finally locate it, but I had to call back to have the car put in service, as I had been the 4^th person to try and locate it. This would have been an ideal time to walk away and choose a new course of action, however I was invested in moving forward and I just wanted to get home.

At this point, my phone no longer had a battery charge and I got in the car, only to have my intuition tell me once again there was something wrong. I continued, ignoring my intuition for the 3^rd time that day. I quickly discovered that the radio wasn’t working (usually not a problem, except you need the radio to use the inboard call center). Within a few minutes my intuition was going on high alert, because the car just wasn’t feeling “right”. After about 10-12 minutes of driving, I unfortunately discovered why, I had a flat tire. So, now I’m stranded, in an area that is not close to anything, my phone isn’t working and neither is the inboard phone! So, I had to get out of the car, find a convenience store and plead to use their phone. Of course I get a newbie and he leaves me on the phone for over 25 minutes and I got kicked out of the store, completely stranded. I was too angry to think and ended walking home which took me 2 hours. All the great work of my treatment felt a waste as I was exhausted and in a lot of pain by the time I got home.

OK, now for the moral of the story! We have all had these kinds of crazy days that seem to just snowball no matter how much we try to salvage the developing situation. It is important to take the time to understand what was motivating our choices when these situations arise. However, it is just as important to let yourself off the hook! Judging yourself for the choices you make in life, especially when things go horribly wrong, won’t help. Learning to strengthen your ability to trust and honor your internal guidance systems can drastically improve the quality of your day to day life.

When I reflect on my crazy day I can see that I was trying to control this situation and not honoring my gut! I wasn’t centered while I was searching for a way to get home therefore ignoring my intuition because I was too attached to my original plan.

When we are in good form and something is off it is relatively easy to shift our day. However, when we aren’t feeling great and are in need of some TLC and our day takes a turn for the worse, this is when it is most important to make sure we have lots of tools at our disposal to turn things around. We need to come up with our own rituals for understanding and honoring our intuition, which can even include creating the space to just let things be until whatever is going on passes.

Learning to trust my intuition and remembering that my gut is a fierce warrior that deserves to be heard regardless of what it is saying is now important. I believe from now on I will connect in with my three brains for guidance when I am getting contradictory information. Taking the time to reflect on what was happening internally has given me the insight I need to completely shift my day next time things go wrong. What about you? What do you do when confronted with a crazy day?

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