The role of our
‘gut brain’ is to ‘protect’ us. It is all about survival. And our ‘gut brain’
informs us, if we are willing to listen, as to what is safe, and our ‘heart
brain’ tells us what is to be trusted. When we can’t forgive, we aren’t
trusting! And when we aren’t trusting we don’t feel ‘safe’. Our lack of
trust, which is accompanied by the feeling of being unsafe, is a deep issue
with most of us and it runs to the root of our survival. It runs so deep that
we tend to expect that this is our natural state. And this is not a feeling
just for us as individuals. Our collective unconscious promotes that this –
wherever we are – isn’t a ‘safe’ place. The major religions suggest that we
were thrown out of the ‘Garden’. Our trust issues run as deep as not being able
to forgive or trust God as a result! And THAT being the case, we will obviously
have trust issues and will not feel safe.
Since
‘forgiveness’ is directly related to trust and trust is directly related to the
feeling of safety, which is directly related to the role of our gut brain, we
aren’t forgiving anyone because we don’t trust anyone – including ourselves.
And how could we? We don’t even trust God. Therefore, one of our first goals is
to address all areas where we don’t trust and can begin to feel safe. Then we
can forgive ourselves, others, and even the Divine/Source.
Personally, the
need to forgive myself is a big issue and it seems to be based on the
unconscious beliefs that: I don’t trust the Divine Guidance within my life; I
am alone; I have to have some control over my life; I don’t trust ‘Source’ to do
what is needed for me; and I know better than ‘Source/God’! Can you see this as
arrogance? (I will be writing a follow up article to this and it won’t be sent
as a newsletter: it will be available by 15/06 on my blog
labeled ‘Arrogance and Forgiveness’)
Do you see how
unconsciously I’m judging the Divine? Do you see that I’m unconsciously
suggesting that I could know better than the Divine? I need to forgive myself
because these unconscious beliefs are just based on my lack of trust. After all
I want to ‘know’ that the Divine is guiding my life and that I can trust this
guidance!
If we realized
just how much harm we do to ourselves by not forgiving and not letting go of
our feelings about the situation and/or person – including the Divine; if we
saw the harm caused by the amount of anger, frustration, and energy that builds
up in us and gets stuck within us when we can’t let go – we would never want to
withhold forgiveness. But our arrogance in thinking that we are ‘right’ and
others are ‘wrong’ – as well as our innate distrust in the world and the role
of the Divine/Source – makes it so difficult to forgive! All the pain and
discomfort we feel stems from our failure to forgive and let go!
This last piece
was just as big for me: I knew how to ‘let go’… but explaining it to others was
often difficult for me. Letting go is forgiving! When we can
trust and feel safe, when we can realize that it is just our perceptions that
have made us hold onto something, then we can truly forgive and ‘let go’!
I believe the
place we first must start is trust; to trust in the Divine Wisdom within our
lives. Would you like to join me in gaining back the trust and restoring faith?
I believe that the best way to do this is to remember all the times when we
felt wronged – even by the Divine – and for us to realize that whatever we
think was done was not what we perceived it to be and that we will perhaps
never see the ‘bigger’ picture of our lives to understand what really happened.
Yet in looking in on these past events where we think there was ‘wrong’ done to
us we can acknowledge that our perceptions were not likely in alignment with
the ‘bigger’ picture and as a result we have misperceived and judged and failed
to communicate properly and allowed the misunderstanding to get ‘bigger’ inside
us somehow. And we justified our thinking to ourselves and refused to forgive,
refused to let go, refused to feel the relief of forgiveness – the feeling of
safety and trust.
I invite you to
determine what areas in your life still require forgiveness – and don’t forget
yourself! And remember that we don’t ‘forgive’ just to be nice or to follow
some religious principles to be ‘good’ … we forgive in order to make our world
experience ‘safe’ through building our trust with the Source of all things –
including ourselves as part of All That Is. And we do this by incorporating not
only the mind and heart but also the gut: our very survival depends on it! Take
some time to truly examine all of the situations and people – and the Divine –
where you still hold this blocked energy of ‘non-forgiveness’ – you’ll feel it
in your ‘heart’ – and see where you just didn’t know any better but did the
best you could. Now, just forgive: have faith and trust in your own Divine
Guidance and Let GO!
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